Question:
Hi Rabbi,
When doing teshuva and it’s time to accept never to do it again do I say “Bli Neder I will not do… again” or do i say “I will not do…ever again”????
please get back to me as soon as possible
The reason I am asking is because just in case I do, do it again I will not go against my promise
Answer:
Hello,
Your reasoning is correct. When we accept not to do a certain aveira again we actually mean to accept it with a conviction that we are not going to do this sin again. However, in general, we want to stick as far away as possible from making nedarim. Therefore, although you mean to never do the action again, still we only use a terminology of bli neder.
As a side point, when making a kabala not to do a certain aveiro again. Obviously, we don’t want to do the Aveiro again, however it is more important to make a smaller kabala of something about abstaining from the Aveiro, that is sustainable, then to make a bigger one, if there is any doubt in your mind that you might not be able to keep to it at a time of nisayon. Therefore, regardless of what terminology you will use, the kabala should be something that you are 100% sure that you can and will keep. Even after that, we still will only say bli neder.
Best wishes
