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Ger Kotan


Shalam Rav,

On first night Shavuos I had a ger kotan eat by me.

He told me he was megayer with his father at age 7, he is now around 20.

I was aware of numerous stories that people were made gerim when they were young, and when they turned bar mitzvah they weren’t told about it and later on in life, they were told and they decided not to accept the geirus.

I asked the ger who ate by me, if he was ever asked if he was happy and he told me no.

Is it a problem that he has never been asked? I asked him if he was happy to be jewish and he told me yes, does that help? Would it have been better not to ask anything?

Please send some guidance.

Thank You





To be honest, you shouldn’t have gotten involved in his geirus, because it isn’t your concern, and it is common knowledge that a ger kotton needs to accept the geirus after his bar mitzva. By asking him these questions, it is causing the ger pain. However, post facto, that already asked him, is saying that he is happy, was beneficial for him.

Best wishes 


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