Question:
I recently lost my mother a"h, and there are still things which need to be done, such as clearing out the apartment and moving everything to a storage unit, and ordering a grave stone, perhaps other things.
Is it proper to offer the grandchildren a chance to participate financially in these costs, or is it considered improper, and only the actual children should participate financially?
Answer:
Hamakom yinachem eschem b'toch shar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim
There is a difference between the expenses for the tombstone, and moving your late mother's possessions into storage. the tombstone is needed for her honor, and that money comes from the money that she left in her inheritance. Therefore it isn't specifically the children that will pay for it, rather the inheritance that pays for the tombstone and the other expenses needed for the burial, and funeral, etc. If there is no inheritance, then the children should preferably pay for these expenses, as it would be included in their kibbud av v'em, and if they can't afford it, the grandchildren can help them out.
The expenses of moving the contents of her apartment into storage, is not the grandchildren's issue. This is the inheritance that the children got, and it is their objects that they now want to move, and technically if they don't want the furniture etc., they can throw it out or give it to someone else.
If there are other expenses that do not fall into any these two categories, let us know.
Best wishes
