Question:
My truck needed a heating/ AC repair which was out of my budget. My wife and are in a second marriage so our finances are separate upon her request except that I give her a mutually agreed upon monthly amount towards mutual living expenses and pay mutually agreed upon certain bills, conditions that we agreed upon in marrying. She keeps her own income. She felt sorry for me in the extreme suffer heat and offered to pay for my truck repair. Which she did giving me the paid receipt. She never stipulated that it was a loan. I would never have made the repair on my own as I couldn't afford it. She had no complaint until she bought a new car on cash a week later, making all the financial decisions herself, spending more than she expected in her budget. Now she is asking for the full repair amount back from me, which I don't have. Is she violating reneging on promises? I feel that I don't have the obligation to pay her back. I would as a chesed for sholom bayis and chesed but i simply don't have the funds or income which doesn't wish to accept. I have searched your site and found articles about keeping one's word and promises but not a similar question. Thank you.
Answer:
Hello,
As a general rule, questions of this type can not be answered without hearing both sides of the story, therefore do not take this as a final answer. From what you are writing (without hearing your wife's side of the story), we would say that unless it was specified that it was a loan, we would not assume that between husband and wife that it was a loan, rather that it was a present. However, if she said that it would be a loan, or if in the past, things like this were given as a loan, then it might indeed be a loan.
As a side point, even if you are right, it would be very good for your shalom bayis, to try and give her the money even if it indeed is considered a present. Keep it as a shalom bayis expense, and the benefits you will reap from the shalom bayis will be a lot more valuable to you than the present monetary expense.
Best wishes
