Question:
Hi,
My question is very wide ranging, so I’ll begin, there are many times where there is machlokes of the poskim if you say a certain word in davening, or in the siddur in general. Like for example in bentching I daven nusach Chabad and we say כאמור פותח את ידך etc. but there is a machlokes if you say it. Anyways, there are many times there are things like this in the siddur, am I allowed to hold by a certain shita even if I’m changing the nusach by not saying a certain thing or saying it differently? Another example for me would be in bentching no matter where we are in the Chabad siddur we say הרחמן הוא יברך את אבי מורי בעל הבית הזה etc., even if we are in a different home, now since when do we have permission to lie in davening even if its part of the nusach? Anyway, am I allowed to change the nusach to the nusach the poskim say is right, for myself only?
Answer:
Hello,
You are right, this question can come up a hundred times. In general, what one should do is to take one nusach, whatever it is, and stick to it. All of the nusachos, are based on big poskim, and have sources for them, and you can rely on them. Besides, when a person switches from one nusach to another, especially during the same tefilloh, it can be “crossing the wires”, as it might come out not like any opinion. It is not a good idea to change the nusach for yourself, because once you start doing that you might have a yester hora to make other changes, which can lead to bad things. In general, a person should have a Rebbi who can guide him, to steer him so that he stays consistent. Included in that would be guidance in this area.
Regarding saying horachamon blessing one’s parent’s, maybe check with your Rabbeim, if it meant to bless them wherever you are, or if it also is meant to say the words “the owner of this house” which as you right, is not true.
Best wishes