Question:
Hi,
I wanted to know how the concept of everything is in Hashem’s hands except fear of Hashem applies to spiritual pursuits and the feelings with them. Is it up to Hashem whether I feel kavana in my davening, or understand the Torah I learn that day? How does it apply once I put in the hishtadlus to do a mitzvah or connect to Hashem? The understanding we have is up to Hashem?
Thank you!
Answer:
Hello,
The term "הכל בידי שמים חוץ מיראת שמים" means that before a person is born, it is decided in heaven if the person will be smart, rich, etc., which might be generally interpreted as mazal. In contrast, regarding yiras shomayim, this is something that is not decreed upon anyone, to have or not to have, because it depends on the effort that we put in to it. The more effort and the more we invest in growing spiritually, the higher of a level we will attain. If the person allows himself to sin, that will diminish his level of yiras shomayim. In other words, this part is up to us to choose, by our actions. Aside from this, although yiras shomayim depends on the person’s bechira ( free choice), there are things that we can do to get heavenly help regarding yiras shomayim. For example, if we daven that Hashem should help us grow in yiras shomayim, that will surely help. An injection of yiras shomayim will be sent from Heaven, because it was requested by us, and it is considered part of what we can do to grow in yiras shomayim. And we find that our tefillos are full of such requests, ( Ahavas Olam, the middle bracha of Shemona Esrei on Shabbos, and Yom Tov, two brachos of the weekday Shemona Esrei, to list a few.)
Having kavana and understanding the Torah that one will learn that day, is included in our daily prayers. The opening statement of Shemona Esrei, which is the verse “ Hashem open my lips, so that my mouth can say your praise” essentially is a prayer that we should be able to concentrate and have feeling during our prayer. We daven for success in our torah learning, before saying shema, during Shemona Esrei, and at the end of Uva L’Tzion. There are numerous people who say that, on days that they concentrated properly when saying these prayers, that their learning that day was, different than on other days.
The way it seems to work is that we have to make the initial choice, to want yiras shomayim, but after we choose it, and request it, then Heaven will help us.
As a side point, regarding having feelings while praying. It is a mistake to gauge one’s prayers, by the amount of feeling that we have. In fact, the yetzer hora can try to divert our attention from our prayers, by confusing us with thoughts of “Am I feeling my prayer, or not”. This is especially prevalent during Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur davening. What we should concentrate on while davening is simply, right now I am actually talking directly to Hashem, the creator of the universe, and I am expressing myself to him thru the tefillos. Do this for a little while without concentrating on that issue if you have or don’t have feelings, and you will later discover that, hey, I did have feeling, and it felt great.
Best wishes
