Question:
For about 25 years my late mother a"h was afflicted with various serious medical issues, and my question is, if she was considered at any time , or most of the time, a "cholah sheyesh ba sakana."
My intention is to be melamed on her any possible zechus, since she was not so observant.
The first surgery was a mastectomy, which was followed by 10 years of 2 prescribed drugs - each for 5 years, intended to prevent osteoporosis.
She was one of thousands of women who fell victim to a national medical scandal, as one or both of these drugs actually caused the very condition that they were supposed to prevent.
My poor unfortunate mother a"h became afflicted with devastating debilitating and apparently irreversible osteoporosis, where bones could suddenly spontaneously break.
As a result, she suffered numerous broken bones, even while walking in the street, she could suddenly fall to the ground because her ankle or hip just broke.
This lasted for around 14 years, and she had a number of surgeries to repair bones, or insert pins.
The last procedure was at age 84, almost 3 and a half years before she passed away, to have a bar fused to her spine to enable her to stand up straight, since being bent over was affecting her ability to breathe and swallow.
During the final months while she was in rehab for a while, her collar bone was suddenly broken, and later on in the hospital, her jaw bone became dislocated, and while they were attempting to reset it by hand, they caused a violent reaction of aspiration, which is fluid going into the lungs, and this apparently caused her to suffer a cardiac arrest, and they preformed a resuscitation as instructed despite not wanting to, and although they brought her back, unfortunately for some unknown reason she never seemed to regain consciousness, and the vital organs such as the kidneys and the liver, never recovered from the lack of oxygen, and she tragically passed away about 4 weeks later, may she finally rest in peace.
To me this all seems like unspeakable and unimaginable suffering.
However, in the eyes of the halacha, what was her halachic status during these years, and would she have been considered a "cholah sheyesh ba sakana" for all or part of this long period of time?
Answer:
Hello,
In general a "cholah sheyesh bo sakana" (person suffering from a life threatening illness) is a person that has condition where there is certain danger to their life, and certain things may be done for them in order to help them get better and save their life. However having such a condition does not automatically permit one to do whatever he likes, rather only things that are needed to help the person live longer. For example, just because someone has a heart condition, that doesn't mean that he can just walk into a restaurant and eat clams, or drive to the beach on Shabbos. Each action that is transgressing a mitzva has to be connected to the need to help the person live. There definitely was a certain part of your mother's illness that she was considered that, but obviously not for the whole time.
Often a place to be melamed zechus is by understanding the person's background, upbringing, personality, and challenges. It is not our job to judge anyone, and only Hashem is capable of judging a person, because only He knows what is going on inside them.
But to be practical, a child has the capabilities to help their departed parent tremendously! Every mitzva that you do, gives a zechus to your parent, because it was your parent that brought you into the world, and essentially caused this mitzva to be done. Every time a person davens, learns torah, does chesed, gives tzedakah, abstains from speaking lashon hora, dresses with tznius, it sends "care packages", and tremendous zechusim to the parent. This, is the reason why children say kaddish, and it helps the parent out more than we can understand. Even for women, everytime you make breakfast, and have in mind that you are now doing chesed with your husband, or children, or have in mind that they should be able to learn well in school, that is a mitzva, and in also translated as a zechus for your mother. You can also do things l'illuy nishmas your mother, and it will be a zechus for her, and a kibud eim for you.
Best wishes
