Question:
I'm an observant single Jewess. While talking with a Jewish man I've known for decades as a friend I experienced/sensed a communication from Hashem (I've not ever had one before) that this man was my soulmate/beshert. A sense of confirmation of love that I've never felt before or expressed. I have no doubt. I don't know what it meant. I didn't mention it to him. I daven and say Tehillim to understand and am confused because this man who I believe loves me, too, says he no longer wants to be in my life even as a friend, that he is not ready to be in a long term committed relationship with me. I trust only in Hashem. What was the thought/experience/feeling of the communication being the truth. Which I still fee and know today. He lives in Israel and I am independently moving back to Israel next year, G-d Willing. Please help. Thank you. B"H.
Answer:
Hello,
It sounds like you really had very strong positive feelings about marrying this man, and it is very difficult to be told by him that he wants to end the relationship. To be honest I don’t know what it means to have a communication with Hashem. Things like this can be very tricky, and it can really be coming from an emotion inside of you that caused you to have such a feeling. Such feeling can also be potentially dangerous, because it causes the person to act blindly, and it can lead them to making a great mistake. (see Tractate Shabbos 149b, Sanhedrin 89a)
On the other hand, we do find times on Tanach that a person thought that he had a communication from Hashem and it really wasn’t so, rather an evil spirit...
One thing we do know, that if it would be a real communication from Hashem, it would come true, and if it didn’t that is a sign that it was not a communication from Hashem. In fact, with your permission, I would say that it is possible that Hashem was sending you a message, of a different type. When this man told you, that he wants to end the relationship, that might really be a message from Hashem that he isn’t really meant for you. And once you have that message, you know that with all the difficulty involved, it is time to move on… One step closer to getting to your real soulmate… the one Hashem really wants you to marry. As you so correctly write, trust in Hashem, and He will lead you to your true bashert, who will naturally want you as much as you want him.
And IY”H you will merit to build a bayis neeman b’Yisroel soon.
