Question:
I left yeshiva over a year ago and I am going through a rather rough time.
I have lost motivation I am really struggling to daven shacharis at the moment it sad because I want to and I know it’s the right thing to do and I’ve grown in all areas. I even got my friend to filter my phone not that is was needed but just as a precaution.
I feel like I might be about to have an amazing 2025 and this is going to be my year now and things over the past week seem to be positive and heading in the right direction bh but I don’t know why I have suddenly lost my motivation to push.
Please help
Answer:
Hello,
There is a very important idea which is brought by R’ Wolbe zt”l in Aleh Shur vol. 1 pg. 34, which might help you. Everyone in their life goes through “good days” and “bad days”. There are the times and periods when everything seems to be going right, things are good at home, at work, and we are managing to concentrate on our davening properly. These periods are called “Yimei Ahava” (times of love). However, there are also periods when things are not going well, even if it is not for any visible reason. It is hard to concentrate on davening, or we just don’t feel motivated to do what we would normally be motivated to do… These periods are called “Yimei Sina” (times of hate). Rabbeinu Tam says, that all people go thru these cycles, (each person on him level), and it is important for a person when he is going thru these periods, to remember that it is only a temporary period, and you will get back to yourself. Rabbeinu Tam also says, that when we are weathering the “storm” of yimei sina, it is important, even though it is hard, to at least keep up, and do some of what we are used to doing. In your case it would be that even though it is hard for you do daven now, and you aren’t motivated, nevertheless, you should still keep it up partially, even though it is without “cheshek”. This way, when the storm passes, you will be able to sail on again the way you used to.
On the other hand, there might be a specific reason why this has happened to you, but for that, I would need more information, or you should go to speak with one of your old rabbeim from yeshiva.
Hashem should help you get over this soon.