Question:
I recently realized my friend was avoiding me and keeping her distance from me when I confronted her she began to tell me how I ruined her life and her friendships in high school , how I ditched her, didn’t invite her to parties and spoke badly about her and therefor other girls began avoiding her to
I do agree that I spoke badly about her and I was distancing myself from her, I just wasn’t really interested on continuing our friendship but I had no intention on pulling other girls away from her to , I don’t think these girls would have what to do with her either way nothing to do with me
I feel really bad now she thinks she could have had relationships with girls if not for me. I did not mean to cause anything like that all I was thinking of is the fact that I don’t want to be her friend
She is now very insulted and hurt and wants me to find a way to reconcile her
How can I do so?
Thank you!
Answer:
Hello,
It is interesting, but this is part of human nature, the very same person you were distancing yourself from, when she did that to you, you were very hurt, and confronted her about it. What you did was very good, and it is even better that your friend was honest about it and told you the truth. She wants to be your friend, and you also to some degree want to be her friend too. What I would say to do, is first of all, without apologizing to her yet, try to be extra nice to her, at every opportunity that you have, in order to give her the unspoken feeling that you do care about her, and like her. At first, she will shy away from you, but after a while she will take to it, and her negative feelings about you will subside, to a large degree, (they would go away totally, but they will subside). Later on, when you have repaired the relationship, you will ask her mechila, and she will be mochel you with a full heart.
Best wishes
