Question:
My family is unfortunately not unified, and my own youngest brother has a long time vendetta against me and speaks very negatively about me whenever he can, and even uses public events such as weddings, bar mitzvahs, funerals, family get togethers, etc, to degrade me and put me down in front of everyone present.
He seems to harbor a great animosity not only towards me, but also towards our late parents, whom he also speaks very negatively about.
He is very alienated from me, and does not share anything about his life with me.
However, I do know that there is one Rabbi whom he considers his Rav, but I do not know if it is permitted for me to speak to this Rabbi about this, since this Rabbi has a very positive relationship with my brother, and is completely unaware of these internal family problems.
What can be done?
Is there anything I can do to protect myself from his negative attitude and speech and actions which I feel will destroy our already splintered family?
His two sons have been giving me this cold treatment for years, by ignoring my messages and not having any association with me.
There are many more details, but this is the essence of the problem.
Answer:
Hello,
You may definitely turn to is Rov, and even ask for his help and advice on this matter. It is not lashon hora as you are telling it to him, in order to correct the situation, and reconcile things between the two of you.
As a side point, I heard a shemuss from Horav Don Segal yesterday, and he said an interesting point. He asked, way is it that we see, tzadikkim and old men, dancing in front a of a chosson and kallah? It is understandable that we should dance on Simchas Torah, this is part of Hashem’s simcha, and a tremendous accomplishment, but why the dancing at a wedding? He answered that bringing peace in the world is so important to Hashem, that even if we have two people that are getting married, and there is love between them, that is so important in heaven, that it is reason for all the Roshei Yeshiva, Rabbonim, and relatives to dance!
Hashem should give you siyata dishmaya, and bring shalom to your family too.
Best wishes