Is a grandchild obligated to honor his grandfather? If so, what is the source for this obligation? Is it a full Torah obligation, or rabbinic enactment? When was the principle "grandchildren are like children" introduced? Is a grandchild required to sit shiva for his grandfather? Does the obligation to teach one Torah create an obligation to honor them in return? Where in the Torah is a grandfather called “father”? what is the significance of a Midrash quoted by Rashi? These questions and more are explored in this week’s discussion.
Honoring Grandparents Through Torah Lens
Does the commandment “Honor your father and your mother” include grandparents? A key source for this halachic discussion lies in a Midrash which Rashi quotes in this week’s parasha.
The pasuk in this week’s parasha says (Bereshis 46:1): “And he offered sacrifices to the G-d of his father Yitzchak.” The Midrash (Bereshis Rabbah 94:5, cited by Rashi) questions why the Torah refers to Hashem as “The G-d of Yitzchak” and not “G-d of Avraham”. The Midrash explains: “One is more obligated to honor his father than his grandfather. Therefore, Yaakov attributed Hashem to Yitzchak rather than to Avraham.”
In other words, since Yaakov’s obligation to honor his father was greater than his obligation to honor his grandfather, when he referred to G-d as the “G-d of his ancestors—the One who guided, cared for, and led his forebears”—he preferred to attribute Him to Yitzchak.
The Halachic Debate: Is a Grandchild Obligated to Honor His Grandfather?
The question of whether a grandchild is halachically obligated to honor his grandfather is a matter of significant debate among the poskim.
According to the MaHaRiK (1420-1480) (Shoresh 30) there is no Torah obligation for a grandchild to honor his grandfather. This view is supported by many prominent poskim, including the Levush (YD 240:24), Kenesset HaGedolah (YD 240:3), The Vilna Gaon (YD 240:33, 240:34).
The Rema (YD 240:24) disagrees, ruling that one is indeed obligated to honor his grandfather. He bases this ruling on the aforementioned Midrash. His view is endorsed by a significant number of poskim, including the Charedim (Positive Mitzvos 4:10), Bach (YD 240:13), Taz (YD 240:20), Shach (YD 240:22), Eliyahu Zuta, Shvut Yaakov (II, 94), Rabbi Akiva Eiger (YD 240:24), Chayei Adam (Part I, 67:25), Chida (Birkei Yosef, YD 240:23), Ben Ish Chai (Torah Lishma 265), and others.
Rishonim Supporting the Obligation to Honor a Grandfather
There are earlier sources that also suggest an obligation to honor one’s grandfather. For example:
- Sefer Chassidim (345) writes that an orphan can still earn the great merit of the mitzvah of honoring parents by honoring grandparents as though they were parents.
- The Menoras HaMaor (Rabbi Yisrael Elnakave, martyred during the persecutions in Spain, 1391) (Part IV: 9) writes explicitly that one must honor his grandfather, although the obligation to honor one’s father takes precedence.
Sources
To fully understand the debate, practical questions and dilemmas which will be discussed later in this article, we must first clarify the source of the obligation to honor one's grandfather and the reasoning behind it.
The MaHaRiK (Shoresh 30) bases his approach on the absence of any explicit mentioned in Torah sources. Indeed, neither Gemara, Rambam, nor Shulchan Aruch mention any requirement to honor one’s grandfather. Only the Rema, in his glosses on the Shulchan Aruch, mentions this halacha.
Teshuva MeAhava (1:178), after presenting extensive arguments both for and against the obligation—most of which suggest there is none—concludes that such obligation should logically exist, since a grandfather is obligated to teach his grandchildren Torah, as it is stated: “And you shall make them known to your children and your children’s children” (Devarim 4:9). He reasons that logically one should honor those responsible for teaching him Torah, and attributes the absence of a precise source to our limited knowledge of Torah.
Grandfather Included in Father
The MaHaRiK argues that there is no such obligation exists, citing the Gemara (Kesubos 103a), which expounds on the pasuk “Honor your father and your mother” (Shemos 20:12). The Gemara there explains that, aside from the father and mother, there are additional individuals connected to this commandment who must also be honored, based on the general rule that the term “es” in the Torah implies inclusion: a stepmother, stepfather, and oldest brother. From the omission of a grandfather from this list, the MaHaRik deduces there is no obligation to honor him.
On the other hand, one of the Rishonim, Rabbenu Meyuchas (Shemos 20:12) explains that there is indeed a Torah obligation to honor one’s grandfather, which is derived from the word “es” in the general commandment of “Honor your father and your mother.”
Indeed, the Bach (YD 240:13) explains that while the Gemara specifies that the stepmother, stepfather, and eldest brother are included in the obligation of honoring parents, it is self-understood that parents of one’s father and mother must also be honored, as they are inherently included in the broader context.
If this is the source of the obligation to honor one’s grandfather, it would make the obligation a Torah-based one, part of the general commandment to honor one parents.
Grandchildren Like Children
The MaHaRiK, on the other hand, bases his understanding on the Gemara (Yevamos 62b) where it states that the principle "grandchildren are like children" applies exclusively in one case: to the mitzvah of procreation (pru u'rvu). One whose children passed away fulfills the mitzvah of procreation through his grandchildren.
On the other hand, the Charedim (Positive Commandments 4:10) and Bach (YD 240:13) maintain that this principle extends across the entire Torah, except where there is a specific reason or teaching that limits it to direct children. Consequently, in their opinion, there is a Torah obligation to honor a grandfather.
Rabbi Yosef Shaul Nathanson, his brother-in-law Rabbi Mordechai Zev Ettinga (Magen Giborim, OC 139:2), the Ben Ish Chai (Torah Lishma 265), and Maharshag (t 2, 4) write that while the principle of "grandchildren are like children" may serve as the source for the obligation, it is not a Torah principle in a halachic sense, except in the context of pru u'rvu. In the context of procreation, the mitzvah’s purpose is to populate the world, and as long as grandchildren continue the lineage, the mitzvah is fulfilled. In other areas, while not a Torah principle, "grandchildren are like children" is a moral principle. From an ethical perspective, grandchildren are equivalent to children, forming the basis for the rabbinic obligation to honor one’s grandfather. Accordingly, the obligation to honor a grandfather is d’rabonon (rabbinic) rather than d’Oraysa.
The Charedim concludes his discussion with a cautionary note: "Therefore, anyone who reveres the commandments should open their eyes lest they sin in this matter, become negligent, and be held accountable, causing Divine justice to afflict them, G-d forbid."
A very early source, Rabbenu Shmuel bar Yehuda HaKohen (cited in HaPardes by Rashi, 290: Laws of Mourning, p. 262; and in Ra’avyah, Mourning, 485) notes that grandchildren are obligated to sit shivah for their grandfather because they are obligated to honor him, based on the principle that "grandchildren are like children." However, a grandfather is not obligated to sit shivah for his grandchild. This opinion, however, was not codified as halacha.
Where The Torah Refers to a Grandfather as "Your Father"
The Bach (YD 240:13), Gufei Halachos (Klalei HaBayis 71), and Chadrei De’ah (YD 240) provide another rationale for including a grandfather within the general commandment of "Honor your father and your mother." They point out that the Torah itself refers to a grandfather as a "father," as illustrated in Yaakov’s prophecy (Bereshis 28:13): “I am the Lord, the G-d of Avraham your father, and the G-d of Yitzchak.” Here, the Torah explicitly refers to Avraham as Yaakov’s father.
The Obligation to Teach Torah
The Bach (YD 240:13) adds another rationale: a grandfather is obligated to teach his grandchildren Torah because a grandson is like a son (Kiddushin 30a). Therefore, logically, the obligation is reciprocal, and the grandson must be obligated to honor his grandfather as if he were his father.
A slightly different approach is offered by the Teshuva MeAhava (1:178) mentioned previously. He suggests that since the grandfather is obligated to transmit heritage to his grandson, it stands to reason that the grandson should be obligated to honor his grandfather. However, he admits that he was unable to identify a definitive source.
The Grandfather’s Role in Bringing His Grandchild into the World
The Bach (YD 240:13) and Chadrei De’ah (YD 240) propose yet another basis for the obligation to honor a grandparent. They refer to the Gemara (Kiddushin 30a) which explains that the reason honoring one’s parents is such a fundamental mitzvah -- comparable to honoring G-d Himself -- is that three partners contribute to man’s creation: G-d, one’s father, and one’s mother. As a result, one is obligated to honor those who brought them into the world.
Similarly, the Gemara states that honoring one’s rebbe is even more important than honoring one’s father because a rebbe brings one to eternal life in the World to Come, whereas his father brings him into this world. Since the obligation to honor one’s parent is a result of their role in bringing him into existence, it follows that grandparents and earlier generations, who also played a role in this process, must be honored as well.
Rabbinic Obligation
Many later authorities—such as Beis Dovid (Salonika, CM 3), Ben Ish Chai (Torah Lishma 265), Magen Giborim (OC 139:2), and Maharshag (2:4)—conclude that while there is no explicit Torah source obligating a grandchild to honor their grandfather, it is proper conduct, and based on the principle that "grandchildren are like children," Chazal enacted a rabbinic obligation requiring grandchildren to honor their grandparents.
Midrash/Gemara Conflict?
Despite the numerous rationales and justifications presented by later authorities, the MaHarik’s question remains: why is this obligation not explicitly stated in the Gemara, Rambam, Shulchan Aruch, or most Rishonim? (Although, as previously noted, some Rishonim do address this matter.)
According to the Rema the source for the halacha is the above-mentioned Midrash from this week’s parasha. The Taz wonders at MaHaRiK’s question. How could the MaHaRiK not have known a famous Midrash quoted in Rashi? The Shach (Nekudos HaKesef 240:3) clarifies the Taz’s surprise: while it is unreasonable to expect any scholar, no matter how great, to be familiar with every Midrash, a scholar of the MaHaRiK’s stature would certainly be expected to know Rashi’s commentary on the Torah. This raises the question: how could he claim no source supports the obligation?
To reconcile the MaHaRiK’s position, many later authorities (Shiyarei Knesses HaGedolah, glosses on Tur YD 240:23; Gra, YD 240:33; and Gilyon Maharsha, YD 240) propose that the MaHaRiK understood from a Gemara source that no obligation to honor a grandfather exists, and the Gemara’s ruling overrides the one mentioned in the Midrash.
The Gemara (Makkos 12b) discusses the laws of a “blood avenger”. According to halacha, one who unintentionally kills another person must flee to a city of refuge. The victim’s closest relative, designated as the “blood avenger”, is permitted or obligated to kill the murderer if found outside the city of refuge.
The Gemara explores an intriguing case: if a father unintentionally killed his son, the grandson becomes the blood avenger, but not his brothers, because they cannot act as “blood avengers” against their father. Rashi explains why: a grandson is not obligated to honor his grandfather. This appears to provide a Talmudic source indicating that a grandchild is not obligated to honor their grandfather.
However, the Ben Ish Chai (Torah Lishma, 265) and Magen Giborim (OC 139:2) argue that there is no contradiction between the Gemara and Midrash. In their opinion, according to the Torah, one is not obligated to honor his grandfather, as Rashi explains. Thus, when a grandson is obligated to avenge his father’s blood, this duty overrides Chazal’s rules of proper conduct to respect grandparents.
Summary
Although there is no clear, definitive source for this obligation, various rationales have been proposed by later authorities to explain the source of the self-understood obligation to honor grandparents.
Next week we will delve further into the practical implications of this obligation, exploring how it leads to different halachic rulings: Is a grandchild obligated to provide financial support to his grandfather? Does the obligation extend to grandmothers as well? Is there a distinction between paternal and maternal grandparents? What is the status of great-grandparents? Must a grandchild recite Kaddish for a grandfather? Does this obligation override another mourner’s right to recite Kaddish? How should a grandchild prioritize requests for assistance from multiple family members, and more.
