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Honoring parent in laws

Question:

If a parent orders their son or daughter not to have anything to do with his or her father-in-law or mother in law, does the son or daughter obey? What are the obligations to a father - or mother - in-law?

Answer:

Hello,

A child does not have to obey a parent, that tells them to do an aveiro. Not talking to a particular person because of a fight or ill feeling between the two, means that the father wants the child to join the fight and friction, which is an aveiro,  (לא תהיה כקרח ועדתו) . Besides for causing friction to the child’s own shalom bayis. Therefore, the child does not have to obey the parent regarding this. On the other hand, the child has to be very careful, that his father should not find out that he is still talking to his father-in-law. Even if the child doesn’t have to listen to the command of the parent regarding this, the child should still not hurt the parent by letting him know that he isn’t listening to him.

Best wishes

Sources:

שולחן ערוך יורה דעה הלכות כבוד אב ואם סימן רמ סעיף טז

האב שצוה את בנו שלא ידבר עם פלוני ושלא ימחול לו עד זמן קצוב, והבן היה רוצה להתפייס מיד לולי צוואת אביו, אין לו לחוש לצוואתו.

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