Chomesh

Question:

Thans for all that you do!
I am a girl in shidduchim looking to marry a long term learner. I give a chomesh to tzedakah and I have the following questions:
1. Since I started giving a chomesh, I basically have not had any extra to put in savings. Am I allowed to put the chomesh in a separate account for my future when IY'H I will be supporting a husband in learning or if right now I do not need the money then I should give it to others in need?
2. I give a part of my chomesh/maaser to a relative sitting and learning. I know it is very helpful to them but they can get by without it (it would be very tight for them though). Is it okay to give it to them?
3. I support myself in a lot of ways, I pay for my own clothes, and necessities (including therapy for a habit I have to stop being mechalel shabbos). Do I pay Maaser before or after these expenses?
Thanks again!

Answer:

Hello,

It is beautiful that you are giving a chomesh to tzedakah, as this is not an easy thing to do.

1. Maaser as well as chomesh, are meant to be given to tzedakah, and not for personal use, therefore it should not be saved for your personal use for later. It is important to remember that Chazal say that a person will never lose out financially from giving tzedakah. Therefore, rest assured, that Hashem will provide you with your needs, and any money that you gave to tzedakah will be given back to you. It might be hard to notice it, because when Hashem gives it back, it won’t have a sticker on it saying “repayment for the tzedakah given …” however if we keep our eyes open, often we can notice it. If however, you said that your giving maser and chomesh is bli neder, then you would be able to stop giving chomesh and save that money.
2. If things will be hard for them without the money, then they are eligible to receive maaser, and you may give it to them.
3. Masser is given from the person’s earnings, business expenses, which are needed to earn the money, can be deducted, as that amount is not considered a profit. However personal expenses, for one’s clothing, personal needs, cannot be deducted from maaser, as this is the money that the person is using personally.

Tizku l’mitzvos, and Hashem should help you find your bashert and all the parnossa that you need for it, very soon.