This week, we will continue with last week’s topic: the prohibition to oppress widows and orphans. What is considered “oppressing”? Is avoiding them out of fear of harming them permitted, or is that itself part of the prohibition? Why was the manna in the desert considered "Bread of Affliction"? Why is the punishment for oppressing widows and orphans so severe? Does the punishment affect only the oppressor? When is oppressing them necessary, and how should it be done? How should one behave towards a widow or orphan who exploits their situation and threatens with the Torah’s retribution on every occasion?
These questions and others will be discussed in the following article.
Widows and Orphans in Halacha -- Part II
Torah Obligations Toward Widows and Orphans
Last week, we explored the Torah’s prohibition against causing distress to widows and orphans, along with its broader obligations. Beyond the prohibition against oppression, the Torah mandates ensuring justice for them, forbids taking their collateral, requires giving them charity, and requires bringing them joy during holidays.
We also examined to whom this prohibition applies. According to Rabbi Akiva, it is specific to widows and orphans. However, Rashi, following Rabbi Yishmael, holds that while it primarily concerns widows and orphans, it extends to all vulnerable individuals.
We also learned about the special covenant Hashem has with widows and orphans—their cries naturally arouse Divine wrath.
This week, we will delve deeper into several key questions:
What actions, or lack thereof, constitute the prohibition of oppressing a widow or orphan? Why is the punishment for this sin so severe? When is oppressing them necessary, and how should it be done? How should one respond to a widow or orphan who exploits their situation and repeatedly threatens Divine punishment upon others?
Assisting Widows and Orphans vs. Avoiding Causing Them Distress
The Rambam (Sefer HaMitzvos, Negative Commandment 256) defines the mitzvah as follows:
"He [Hashem] has warned us against oppressing the orphan and the widow, as He said, ‘You shall not afflict any widow or orphan.’ This prohibition includes not distressing them either through speech or action. Instead, one must speak to them with soft and kind words, engage with them in good dealings, and ensure that they live well and joyfully. [In Kapach’s translation: ‘One must relate to them in the best possible manner.’] This mitzvah emphasizes an extreme degree of care in this regard. Whoever falls short in any of these aspects has violated this commandment."
This suggests that even someone who has never actively harmed a widow or orphan—even if occasionally he offered encouragement or engaged with them in business to support them financially—still transgresses the prohibition of "You shall not afflict them."
While such a person has clearly failed to fully uphold the positive mitzvah of providing charity to widows and orphans (which, as the Gemara in Kesubos 111b teaches, includes even a smile or a kind word), why is he considered violating the negative prohibition?
Defining “Oppression”
In modern Hebrew, the term inui (עינוי) signifies abuse or torture, like the horrific treatment inflicted upon Jewish captives in Gaza. However, in Biblical Hebrew, inui conveys a different meaning: the deprivation of enjoyment or the denial of rightful pleasure.
On Yom Kippur the Torah mandates: "You shall afflict (תְּעַנּוּ) your souls" (Vayikra 16:29). Before explaining what inui is, the Gemara (Yoma 74b) rejects the notion that inui refers to actively inflicting pain on oneself, such as deliberately moving from the shade into the sun. Instead, the Gemara clarifies that inui denotes a passive deprivation of physical comforts—specifically, abstaining from food, drink, and other physical pleasures.
Another example of inui mentioned in the Gemara is the manna eaten in the wilderness: "Who fed you manna in the wilderness… in order to afflict you (לְמַעַן עַנֹּתְךָ)" (8:16). In what way was eating the manna an affliction? The Gemara explains that its uniform appearance, absence of different flavors, and the insecurity of not having a fully stocked pantry all contributed to a diminished pleasure from their food. Despite being nutritionally perfect, eating manna was an experience of inui because of these reasons.
Inui also appears in Lavan’s warning to Yaakov: “If you afflict (תְּעַנֶּה) my daughters..." (Bereshis 31:50). The Gemara explains this refers to deprivation of marital relations, not physical harm. Similarly, in the Pesach Haggada we read: "And He saw our affliction (עָנְיֵנוּ)" (Devarim 26:7) -- “This is abstinence of marital intimacy.”
Additional sources in the Gemara (Yoma 77a, Kesubos 47b) confirm this: inui always refers to the denial of pleasure and comfort, not physical pain or emotional abuse.
While inflicting physical or emotional pain is an active act, inui is its passive counterpart—denying a person their peace of mind, dignity, or rightful pleasures. Moreover, inui can occur even without any action at all.
Therefore, wherever inui is mentioned in the Torah it refers specifically to the denial of enjoyment or tranquility, not direct physical suffering.
Oppressing Orphans and Widows
Based on the above, we can now understand that when the Torah prohibits oppressing a widow or orphan, it is not only referring to refraining from causing them distress. Rather, since a widow and orphan lack the support of a husband or a parent—the comforting word, the encouragement, and the joy of life—the Torah obligates us to fill that void for them.
When we neglect this duty and fail to provide them with the emotional or practical support they need, we are oppressing the widow and orphan. Denying them the peace of mind and security that the Torah grants them by law is considered inui.
This explains why the Rambam does not include this prohibition in Hilchos Ona'ah (Laws of Exploitation) (Mishneh Torah, Hilchos Mechira 14:12–18), where he lists the prohibition against distressing any Jew—whether through speech or actions. Rather, the Rambam places the laws of widows and orphans in Hilchos De’os—the section dealing with proper conduct and character traits. There, he emphasizes the obligation to treat widows and orphans gently, to speak to them kindly and respectfully, and to be extremely cautious not to act in any way that contradicts this obligation.
Furthermore, there is a special requirement to safeguard their property even more carefully than one would protect one’s own assets.
Sefer HaChinuch’s Perspective
The Sefer HaChinuch (Mitzvah 65) explains that the purpose of this mitzvah is to instill within us the trait of kindness and compassion and to cultivate moral integrity. In other words, the primary obligation is not merely to avoid causing widows and orphans distress, but rather to actively nurturing mercy in ourselves: "All one’s interactions with them should be conducted with gentleness, kindness, and compassion."
The Sefer Hachinuch elaborates on the proper behavior toward widows and orphans: "How should one behave toward them? One must speak to them gently, treat them with respect, not burden them with excessive labor, not humiliate them with harsh words, and safeguard their property even more carefully than one safeguards their own assets... one is obligated to interact with them with gentleness and respect."
The Punishment
In Sha’arei Teshuva (3:24) Rabbenu Yonah categorizes the severity of sins in the Torah. The first are rabbinic prohibitions; the failure to fulfill positive commandments come in second; and the third are negative prohibitions that do not carry corporal punishment – one of which is the prohibition to oppress widows and orphans.
While this might seem to be a lesser prohibition, Rabbenu Yona warns us not to take these prohibitions lightly, as some prohibitions can lead to extremely severe punishments. One such example, he notes, is the prohibition against oppressing a widow or orphan, which is punished measure-for-measure: death by the sword, with the victim left missing, his wife unable to remarry, his children unable to inherit his property, and his relatives -- in limbo, never knowing of his fate.
If this sin is not considered among the gravest offenses, why does it carry such a severe punishment – much more severe than many seemingly greater sins?
The early commentators (Rabbenu Yonah, Ramban on Shemos 22:21, Sefer HaChinuch Mitzvah 65, and others) explain that the harsh punishment is a direct result of the sin itself. When one behaves contrary to natural compassion and denies widows and orphans the compassion they deserve, he empties the world of kindness and empathy. As a result, Divine mercy is withdrawn from the world, and Divine wrath fills its place.
Conversely, when we increase our sense of compassion and actively support widows and orphans—offering words of encouragement, extra patience, and care—we fill the world with compassion, awakening Divine mercy for the world.
The Alshich’s Perspective
The Alshich (Devarim 24:19) further clarifies that G-d does not command us to care for widows and orphans because He needs our help to provide for them. G-d Himself is the "Father of the orphans and Judge of the widows" (Tehilim 68:6) and does not require human assistance to sustain them. Instead, G-d gave us this commandment as an opportunity to bestow merit upon us—allowing us to increase compassion in the world and draw blessings upon ourselves.
Thus, by showing kindness to widows and orphans, we do not just fulfill a mitzvah—we actively bring Divine compassion into the world, ensuring that we, too, will be recipients of this mercy and blessing.
The Miracle of Purim
In his teachings on Purim (5637), the Sfas Emes highlights how a seemingly small act of kindness led to the miraculous salvation of our nation. Every day for four or five years, Mordechai stood outside the palace of King Achashverosh to inquire about Esther’s well-being: "to know of Esther’s welfare and what would become of her" (Esther 2:11). As an orphan, Esther had no one else to care for her, and Mordechai took it upon himself to watch over her. The Sfas Emes explains that it was in this merit that he was privileged to bring about the miracle of Purim. In other words, the salvation of the entire Jewish nation was the direct result of Mordechai’s devotion to a single orphaned girl.
Constructive 'Inui'
The Rambam (Hilchos De’os 6:10) and other early commentators clarify that the prohibition against afflicting an orphan applies only when the mistreatment serves the oppressor’s interests. However, if the distress is for the orphan’s own benefit—such as a rabbi guiding his student, or a teacher training an orphan in a profession or craft—there is no prohibition in causing then distress.
Nevertheless, the Rambam stresses that even in such cases, one must treat orphans with exceptional care, exercising greater patience, compassion, and respect than with other students.
This principle can be compared to a child who cries and resists receiving a life-saving injection. A nurse who avoids administering the shot out of misplaced pity is actually being cruel, depriving the child of vital medical care. Conversely, a nurse who administers the injection forcefully and coldly, ignoring the child's fear and pain, provides necessary treatment but lacks the ideal sensitivity.
The ideal approach lies in combination: a compassionate nurse will take extra time to soothe the child, offer comfort and encouragement, acknowledge their fear, and gently prepare them—while ensuring they receive the life-saving vaccine no matter what. Similarly, when educating or guiding an orphan, discipline must always be accompanied by deep empathy and understanding.
Taking Advantage
It is not uncommon to encounter a widow or orphan who, upon feeling slighted or wronged, declares, “I am a widow/orphan; I will cry out to Hashem, and your punishment is spelled out in the Torah.” How should we respond? Is this behavior justified?
First, we must recognize that such a reaction stems from deep pain and vulnerability. A widow or orphan who feels compelled to invoke Divine punishment as a plea for support is truly in distress. Rather than dismissing or resenting the reaction, we must empathize with their hardship—life without a father or husband, without security or a safety net, is profoundly difficult. Their outburst is not merely anger, but a desperate cry for reassurance and stability.
On the spot, the best response is not argument but acknowledgment. A sincere apology or a simple expression of understanding can go a long way. However, the deeper responsibility comes afterward—recognizing their ongoing need for kindness and support. Small gestures, such as offering help, a kind word, or even a thoughtful gift, can provide the reassurance they lack. Even if direct engagement is not possible, we should at least feel compassion in our hearts, pray for their well-being, and seek ways to assist them.
While the Torah warns of Divine retribution for afflicting widows and orphans, the punishment is for failing to show compassion. The more patience and kindness we extend, the more we bring Divine mercy into the world—both for them, and for ourselves. Moreover, kindness outweighs punishment 500 to 1; a single act of care can counteract immense suffering. Ultimately, our role is to uplift, support, and bring comfort, ensuring that those in pain feel seen, valued, and secure.
Educating With Sensitivity
People who are close to a widow or orphan who exploits the Torah’s warning, could advise them further. The Gemara (Bava Kamma 93a, as explained by Rashi) states that the Torah’s phrase "I will kill you (אתכם) by the sword" (Shemos 22:23) is written in plural form—teaching that both the one who cries out (i.e., the widow) and the one who oppresses her are liable to punishment by the sword.
Moreover, the punishment first befalls the one who cries out—the widow—before it reaches the oppressor. This is because the pasuk, "I will kill you by the sword" does not refer to a punishment in the usual sense. The Mechilta and Ramban (Shemos 22:21) explain that this is not a Divine punishment, but rather something that provokes Divine wrath on a global scale, which in turn allows enemies to inflict harm upon those who violated the prohibition.
The Rambam and Smag describe this as a “Divinely established covenant”, or a natural law in creation. The cries of a widow or orphan automatically generate Divine wrath, regardless of the severity of the offense. Just like pushing “the nuclear button” triggers a nuclear explosion— so too the tears of an oppressed widow or orphan -- anyone in the vicinity will be harmed.
And furthermore, one who provokes it is harmed first. Thus, even though the one who is wronged does not "deserve" a punishment, since it is a natural consequence, Divine wrath naturally strikes the one who provokes it first.
Avoiding Situations
In drastic cases, where causing them distress is unavoidable, the Gemara (Shabbos 11a) teaches it is preferable to avoid interacting with widows or orphans altogether. Since the Divine retribution is a natural law just like the destructive force of electricity, so too must we exercise caution in interactions with the vulnerable. As Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz was known to say: "Interpersonal relationships are like fire." Hurting peoples’ feelings is like placing one’s hand in a flame—even if done by accident or under duress, the fire still burns.
When Divine Wrath is Provoked
The Panim Yafos (Shemos 22:21) explains based on the Gemara (Menachos 41a) that Divine wrath is only triggered when a person knowingly ignores a mitzvah. Thus, one who fails once to act compassionately toward a widow or orphan does not yet face the severe punishment detailed in the Torah. However, when a person repeats the offense, it becomes ingrained as part of their character. At this stage, Divine wrath is provoked.
The Importance of Education
Because this mitzvah is so essential—and orphans exist in every age and stage of life—education about it must begin as early as possible. Parents and educators should actively seek opportunities to instil in their children the importance of caring for those without parental support. A valuable resource in this regard is the widely acclaimed book “Invisible Tribe: Stories of Strength and Encouragement for Children Coping with the Loss of a Parent” (Gross, Menucha Publishers), which offers meaningful stories and lessons for both children and adults on this significant mitzvah.
Through patience, understanding, and kindness, we will invoke Divine mercy upon ourselves and the world, ensuring that the blessing of compassion becomes abundant in our lives.
