Question:
Hi, I had recently written in a question in regards to how things are very tight after I received a very large and sudden medical bill after insurance said they would cover it and then didn't. In the answer I got I was told I can use the maaser I have for my bill as long as I put it into an envelope and use ONLY when needed.
I had a 2 part q. this is the second part.
This medical bill is costing nearly 3k. I am a full time nursing college student. I live at home but only have income from a semester based (1800 for 16 weeks) scholarship- I have historically used that for majority college needs and what's left some spending... I did not tell my parents abt this bill they for sure cannot afford it. It is very hard to find work that pays decently where I live let alone that fits my schedule. I have been trying hard. life expenses for rides to work come up, costs for things for shidduchim, and what comes up the most and what is the HARDEST is when a friend asks to hang out and go somewhere that costs, so aka- needing a little spending money. They never understand why am I so stiff abt it, its embarrassing. I currently owe 783 in maaser from the past that I was JUST ABT TO PAY! but then this happened. My parents made an "investment" as they say to send me to 2 family weddings and sheva brachos. during this time I had spent 300 for a dress for the wedding and another for sheva brachos, and ofc money for things like food to eat while not at home. During this time also, friends have also wanted to see me and go places where I had to spend a little. It is so embarrassing to say I cant. I bought the dresses myself because I didn't want my parents to pay for more especially because the whole a/c system at home just broke- but I knew I had to get s/t new. Especially where I went, ppl say things if you don't dress nice and I am in shidduchim. its so embarrassing, I cant even spend how I want. 300 isn't much for 2 dresses from frum companies AND spending for those other things while out of town for almost 3 weeks, but that's how that 300 credit card bill came to be. When I knew I was going to be out of town, I was able to get in touch with an old job and work for 2 weeks to make some more money. I do have an emergency fund I saved for years of 3k in case something else CHAS VISHOLOM would happen. I have already had to use it because I tend to have health anxiety, and recently I had gone to the er twice. I do have some money in my regular bank account around 1500 that I scrounged from scholarship and what's left from working. but if I use that all now to pay my medical and credit card bill, That leaves things in a rough spot. I have to take rides to work via uber because I don't drive (its expensive to take lessons), needs for shidduchim, and rides to college still exist after i pay the medical bill and credit card bill... I will have to wait for my scholarship, and make what little i make back at home and have not much savings... SO what i am trying to get at is while i was given that answer that i can use my maaser but is it still halachically be okay for me to use that 186 of maaser I have from what I will be making and future maaser from pay checks while also trying to be a normal 23 yr old and have the ability to have some spending money? I have not been the wisest clearly. I also was put into a bad situation because of insurance. I need to become a lot more responsible and I thought I was. Life smacked me in the face and things have been so pressured and tight. I feel so stuck. everyone else around me has stable jobs, travels and i am stuck with this because I am a student and I don't want to burden my parents. With Hashem's help it will be fine in the long run, but right now again, I will not have much at all.
Answer:
Hello,
The idea was, that even if you can’t afford to give maaser, it is still better to at least separate it, and then use it for yourself, when you need to. It doesn’t have to specifically be used to pay off this bill, but when you need the money, use it. What was written was not meant to be taken that you can only use the money for emergencies, rather, when you need to spend the money- do so. I hope this clarifies things.
Regarding what you can spend money on, the idea is that a person who doesn’t have enough money for their basic expenses, is considered an oni. Buying occasional clothing needed for shidduchim is not a luxury, rather a necessity.
It is difficult to go through each of your expenses, the main idea is that a person that doesn't have money for the basics, (not luxuries) the person would not have to give maaser. This understandably differs from person to person, depending on each person's personal situation.
Best wishes
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