Question:
Hi,
As imperfect humans, we occasionally find ourselves feeling envious and/or spiteful when we see someone happy when we are going through a rough time, or we see someone excelling at something that we struggled with. Of course we should try to only thing positively of others and be happy for them, but in my experience it's much easier said than done. There are occasionally instances where I find myself feeling envious or spiteful and then I worry that I may have put an ayin hara on that person, even though in reality I wish that person no harm (or any Yid for that matter). I then find myself davening and worrying that no harm should come to that person (not a specific person it could be various different people. So my question is, is there a specific way to prevent an ayin hara from chas vshalom taking effect when the yetzer hara puts those thoughts into our head?
Answer:
Hello,
You are asking a wonderful question, which shows you good middos, sensitivity, and concern for others. While I don’t have any kabalistic remedies for taking out an ayin hora that we might have given, there is a way to correct things to a degree. That would be to work on having an ayin tova.
There is a way to work on ayin tova, by simply thinking a positive thought about people when we see them. For example, when seeing a young mother pushing a carriage, you can think, she is doing chesed with her baby. When seeing a man walking to shul, or to work, think he is going to do a mitzva, etc. if we do this even once or twice a day. We will see begin to see other people in a more positive light, and the same way an ayin hora radiates negative energy, ayin tova radiates positive energy and bracha to others.
When we see someone who have something that we are missing, i.e. a person looking for a shidduch who sees a newlywed couple, we know intellectually that what is meant for someone else doesn’t detract from us at all, however it is hard to feel it. What we can do is to whisper to ourselves, I wish this person all the best, they should have a good marriage, etc. Whispering this to yourself, even though at first it will be very artificial, but it will still have an effect on you, and with some time, this effect will diminish your feelings of jealousy.
May Hashem give you all that you need, and help you get an ayin tova.
Best wishes
