Question:
How do I know that Hashem wants me to have bitachon and daven to be healed? Maybe its good for me to be sick, as it will make me grow and become a more sensitive refined person?
Answer:
Hello,
True, we can’t know, what Hashem wants and maybe you are correct.
Regarding davening when a person is sick, I once heard a nice idea from R’ Zev Leff shlit”a. He asked, how is it that we have the nerve to daven to get healed. After all we believe that everything comes from Hashem and it is the best thing for us. If he knows what is best for us, why should we daven to take it away?
He answered with a nice moshul. A person that has hardening of the arteries, will go to the doctor, and the doctor will treat it with one of three methods. If the condition is light, then he will recommend doing exercise to force the blood threw the veins. If the condition is moderate, then he will recommend taking pills to open the arteries. However, if it is severe, and causing gangrene, he will have to amputate. A doctor will treat a patient who needs to take pills, and suggest exercise that won’t help him, and if he amputates his foot, he is a murderer. The same would be if he needed an amputation and instead, he would suggest doing exercise or taking pills. In other words, the doctor must prescribe the correct remedy according to the severity of the illness.
Therefore, when we daven, essentially, we are telling Hashem, “Yes, maybe the illness was the correct form of treatment for my neshoma before I got sick. But I am being mechazek (strengthening) my emuna, and doing teshuva, for my aveiros, and the form of treatment that was good for me before, maybe it can now be changed to a different form if treatment. I am working on emuna, bitachon, and purifying myself, and therefore maybe now what I need is a yeshua, so I can thank you, and be happy with good health, even when I am healthy!
Another answer to your question is. Being sick might make the person grow. But on the other hand, davening and lowering ourselves in front of Hashem while davening, could very well be the way Hashem wants us to grow.
May we all not have to come on to these forms of treatment, and we should all grow in emuna and bitachon while healthy!
Best wishes
