Question:
This might sound like a fantastical question but unfortunately I am in a desperate and hopeless situation financially and socially, and I was wondering if it is possible to trade part or full of the merit of something I might have done such as a mitzvah or good deed for money to pay off my incredible debts and payments and expenses and other obligations.
Answer:
Hello,
You situation sounds pretty desperate, but no matter how desperate you are, don’t sell your olam haba for money. If you sell the sechar for the mitzvos that you did, you are showing that they are only worth the small amount of money that you are selling it for. This is a terrible zilzul to understanding what you are doing.
The Chofetz Chaim explains the Mishna that says, “sechar mitzva, b’hi alma leka”, the reward for mitzvos does not exist in this world, with a beautiful moshul. There was a poor orphan boy, whose father died, and the only thing he left over for him were two large diamonds. Other than that, the boy didn’t have anything much. One day he was in the local grocery store, and there were the largest gum balls sitting on the counter. His friends were using the spending money their parents gave them to buy and eat the gum balls. The orphan also wanted one. He ran home took one of the diamonds, and ran back to the store. He asked the store keeper, if he would mind trading this “rock” for a gumball? The storekeeper absolutely refused. Why? Exclaimed the boy, it’s such a pretty rock? The store keeper then explained to him, that this rock was worth a tremendous amount of money. If he is going to trade it with him now, when he grows older, he will realize how much this rock is worth, and he will take him to court for cheating him! Therefore, says the Chofetz Chaim, Hashem does not give us our reward in this world, a fleeting world, that only has physical pleasures. Instead, Hashem is keeping our diamonds, for the time when we will be able to get their full value, eternal spiritual enjoyment, that is “out of this world”, and more pleasurable than anything we can possibly buy in this world.
On the other, you need parnossa desperately! I don’t know what you are capable of doing, and what government programs are available, but from afar, I can give you some suggestions from the one who is the “zan umifanes lakol” ( Hashem). The first one is to wash and eat bread in the morning! When you wash, wash with a nice amount of water, as chazal say that a person who uses, a large amount of water for netilas yodayim, will merit[1], a large amount of bracha, (unless there are certain[2] aveiros that are blocking it). Then after eating your bread, take out a bentcher and bentch[3] while looking inside, and understanding what you are saying. Remember you are now talking to Hashem, and chazal say that a person who is careful with bentching will not be missing parnossa, his whole life! If possible, say it loud. The Zohar[4] and Arizal write that the more simcha a person has while thanking Hashem while he is bentching, the more the person will be given parnossa with simcha!
Hashem should send you your parnossa b’shefa!
Best wishes
Sources:
[1]ע' שו"ע או"ח ס' קנ"ח סע' י' "אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁשִּׁעוּרָם בִּרְבִיעִית, (פֵּרוּשׁ רְבִיעִית הַלֹּג, דְּהַיְנוּ שִׁעוּר בֵּיצָה וָחֵצִי), יוֹסִיף לִטֹּל בְּשֶׁפַע, דְּאָמַר רַב חִסְדָּא: אֲנָא מְשַׁאי מְלֹא חָפְנַי מַיָּא, וְיַהֲבֵי לִי מְלֹא חָפְנַי טִיבוּתָא".
[2] ע' מ"ב שם ס"ק ל"ח וז"ל "ומי שזהיר בזה ואינו מתעשר הוא מפני שמעשיו מעכבין [אחרונים]:"
[3] ע' מ"ב ס' קפ"ה סק"א וז"ל "כתב בספר החינוך כל הזהיר בברהמ"ז מזונותיו מצויות לו כל ימיו בכבוד"! והמדקדק יזהר לברך לכתחילה תוך הספר לא כע"פ וכו' מק"ג ויש שכתבו שטוב לעולם לכרך בקול כי הקול מעורר הכוונה.
[4] הובא בפסקי תשובות ס' קפ"ה אות ב'.
