Question:
After my mother passed away I found some matches in the kitchen on the stove and I decided to keep them and use them each week to light my Shabbos candles and that it should be a merit and aliyah for her since I can no longer help her in this world.
My question is if using these matches that belonged to her really is a merit and aliyah for her neshama, or is this an expression of being sentimental.
Answer:
Hello,
If you are using her matches specifically for a mitzva, then it is a benefit for her neshoma. The truth is that a child can benefit the departed parent’s neshoma, with any mitzva that you do, especially if you do it better so it should be an illuy neshoma. Being that your whole existence is than to your parents, therefore any mitzva that you do is in part because of your parent’s actions, and they get rewarded for it. Therefore, even the actual candles that you light are also an illuy neshoma for her. The same will apply to all the chesed that you do at home. When you make supper, think that you are now doing chesed for your husband and children, so they should have a good meal. The meal that you are cooking, was just transformed into a mitzva, and not only will your children benefit from it, but your mother will also. As she will get rewarded for the chesed that her daughter just did.
Best wishes
