Question:
After a parent dies and the shloshim has passed, how does one deal with shaving the rest of the year? I usually shave about twice a week, but can occasionally shave once or three times. I feel uncomfortable if I shave less than 2-3 times a week. If my Mother was alive, I think she would feel I should continue doing so. So I'm seeking guidance how to proceed. Thanks for your help!
Answer:
Hamakom yinachem eschem b'toch shar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim.
According to R' Moshe Feinstein zt"l, during the year an avel should wait double the usual time between shaves. Many people find it easier to grow a small beard for aveilus. You should know that whatever you abstain from doing due to the halachos of aveilus is a mitzva. Additionally, if you realize that this is your way of honoring the memory of your mother, it becomes a mitzva of kibud av v'em. Any mitzva you do bring immense enjoyment to your mother's neshoma, because she is rewarded for it in the world to come. Yes, you won't look as good as you usually do, but your mother gains from it and will appreciate it in the world that is now.
Best wishes
Sources:
Yesodei Smachos pg.106, Igros Moshe Y:D 3 -156.
