Question:
I hope the rav can help me get clear:
I have a lot of times shailos in halacha and I ask a rav (I'm not talking about a big posik) but sometimes a rav is matir but I'm not at all settled because
1. people make mistakes and mabe he forgot.
2. Maybe he didn't understand the shaila correctly.
3. It's (Maybe) a machlokes and how can I be lenient just because he understands it's assur.
So it makes me nervous and I don't know when to be maikel just because I got a heter.
I try not to do anything that maybe I'm not allowed, but sometimes it's too much and I just need to know: should I except every heter or should I always be machmor? and what's the true way to look at a machlokes?
Answer:
Hello,
If you have consulted a Rov who is duly qualified to answer halachic questions, you may confidently rely on his guidance. The Torah states (Devarim 17:9), “You shall come to the judge who will be in those days, and they will declare to you the law.” The Gemara (Rosh Hashanah 25b) elucidates that we are obligated to heed the authorities of our own generation and follow their rulings. Admittedly, poskim are human and thus fallible—they may err in judgment or misinterpret a question. Nevertheless, the Torah enjoins us to adhere to their decisions. When Hashem instructs us to follow their rulings, we are absolved of responsibility for any inadvertent error that may result from doing so.
The possibility of a halachic dispute is indeed common, as many contemporary halachos are subject to differing opinions. This is precisely the role of the posek: to serve as the halachic authority and render a decision. If one does not trust his judgment, it is unwise to seek his counsel; however, if he is deemed competent and trustworthy, his rulings should be followed with confidence.
Constant stringency is not Hashem’s desire; rather, Hashem wishes that we pursue what is correct and true, and sometimes that means recognizing that an action is not, in fact, forbidden. One of the great baalei mussar of the previous generation—either R’ Dessler or R’ Lopian, zt"l—noted that every chumra (stringency) can, in a different context, result in a kula (leniency). For instance, excessive stringency in matters between man and Hashem (bein adam l’makomo) can inadvertently harm others—such as one's spouse, children, or friends (bein adom l’’chaveiro). The true objective is to seek the truth: a posek’s role is not to always rule stringently, but to possess comprehensive knowledge of the relevant halachos, opinions, and sources, and to apply them judiciously to each individual circumstance. Therefore, present your questions to your Rov, and if possible, consistently consult a single Rov to ensure coherent and unified halachic guidance.
Best wishes
