Question:
Hello, I have a question that's bothering me a while. I live in an apartment building with a lot of neighbors. I have one particular family that keeps on breaking my toys or damaging expensive items in my house-for example, a 4 year old kid took a do-dot and painted my suede chairs up. I tried taking out the stains with a special spray, but the stain still stayed. If I take out my child to play in the hallway, that family will come and take away my childs toys and break them. (one of the kids that breaks items is 6 years old) Who is responsible for damage?
Answer:
Hello,
This may sound hard, but essentially no one is responsible for the damage, because the child doesn’t know what he is doing. The Gemora says, that when coming in contact with a child is difficult because if we damage them, we have to pay, but if they damage, they don’t have to pay. I once saw that regarding such occurrences, (where the Torah says that someone who damaged in a certain way and is not obligated to pay), that it is one of the ways that Hashem uses, when a person has to have a loss of money. It loss can come to the person by a wind blowing, and causing damage, a child damaging something, etc.
It should be taken as something that is from heaven, and although it is difficult, it should just be accepted. If it had to happen, B”H the loss was only monetary, and not a medical bill with a hospitalization etc...
If the parents choose to pay for it, they may, however there is no claim against the parents. Nevertheless it is a good thing for the child to pay for the damages that he caused when he was young. It might however be advisable to do what you can to minimize such occurrences, as much as you can.
Best wishes
Sources:
בבא קמא דף פז עמוד א "חרש שוטה וקטן פגיעתן רעה, החובל בהן - חייב, והם שחבלו באחרים - פטורין. וכ"פ בשולחן ערוך חושן משפט סימן תכד סעיף ח "החובל בחרש, שוטה וקטן, חייב; והם שחבלו באחרים, פטורים". וע"ש באור הגר"א ס"ק טו "מדקא' בסיפא (סע' ט') אבל משלמין כו' מ' אבל ברישא לא".
משנה ברורה סימן שמג ס"ק ט "קטן שגנב או שהזיק ראוי לב"ד להכותו שלא ירגיל בה [וכן חבלה וביוש וכל דברים שבין אדם לחבירו ב"ד מצווין להפרישו שלא יארע תקלה על ידו] אבל אין צריך לשלם אם אין הגנבה בעין. וכ"ז מדינא אבל לפנים משורת הדין בין שחבל בו בגופו או שהזיק לו בממונו צריך לשלם לו [ט"ז וח"א וכן משמע מהגר"א]":
