Speaking to deceased relatives

Question:

Hi Rabbi,
My grandfather passed away about 13 years ago. He excelled at something I am struggling with in life and I want to talk to him. Even though I know it's a one sided conversation in terms of speaking to the air.... But is that a sin if I do? Not to do any creepy or weird things, just I'm a verbal person and I want to just talk in my room, my thoughts as if I'm speaking to him- but is it a sin to direct thoughts or words like that to someone deceased, or at anyone but God? Secondly would it disturb his soul in any way to hear his name called by a crying loved one-- would he even hear it anymore, it's been so many years since he passed and he's in an elevated place now. Would it cause pain to him in any way if I speak to him or ask for his help? CAN he guide me or strengthen me or teach me? Or can I only ask for that kind of help from God, Who enables and creates all things..... I mean, we talk to our loved ones when they are alive and ask for their advice, we don't only direct our words to God.... I don't know?

Thanks for your help.

Answer:

Hello,

You may definitely talk to the neshoma of the deceased person, as there is a certain part of their neshoma that stays at the kever. I personally remember seeing Horav Zaidel Epstein zt"l talk to relatives, the same way he spoke to them when they were alive. Additionally you can ask the niftar to go and daven for you. On the other hand, I don't think you can ask the niftar to teach you things. That you should ask from Hashem to teach you in the zechus if the niftar.

Best wishes