Question:
My mother-in-law still has a very close relationship with my husband’s ex-wife. They have been divorced for over 30 years. Is it appropriate for her to go on vacation and stay in her home? I feel it is very disrespectful to me and to our marriage.
Answer:
Hello,
It is normal to have these feelings, as it may seem like your mother-in-law has an additional daughter-in-law. However, understanding her perspective might help. After a couple of divorces where marriage ends, it doesn’t mean conflict or anger is necessary. Your husband may not have a relationship with his ex, but her family still can and should not harbor hatred. This is especially important if children are involved.
While this makes sense logically, it’s not always the case. Even if your mother-in-law has a good relationship with her ex-daughter-in-law, it would be wise for her to keep that quiet.
Discussing this directly with her could be risky because it’s a sensitive topic. Maybe someone else could approach her carefully, encouraging her to act in a way that won’t offend you.
May Hashem help you manage this situation and bring peace to everyone.
Sometimes the divorced happened for reasons other than the, "she was just a terrible witch", reason.
It could be the husband's issues had to do with the divorce or it simply was not compatible even though both sides are fine people.
It's a Mitzva to love and get along with all Jews, and an ex-daughter in-law is no exception...
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