Question:
I’m reaching out for a follow-up she'eilah. I spoke with the Rav previously here about my medical debt, and I was told that I’m currently exempt from giving maaser and that I could even collect for my bills anonymously. My situation has changed and I’m still struggling with a lot of guilt. My sister wants to give me money from her maaser to help me, and I’m terrified that taking it is an aveira because my situation has changed and I don’t want to feel like a 'fake.'
This is the full picture now:
I still have medical debt, and unfortunately over pesach I injured my hip and need physical therapy. On top of that in November, I had COVID and now am dealing with residual COVID headaches, which makes it so hard to work. I bh was given a medicine to try and I think it's been helping but it's only been 5 days, bh my injury is slowly getting better, but still at times in pain and sometimes the headaches are horrible.
The only decent paying job I could find at the time while I was finishing school was a preschool job which as you can imagine is terrible for my head and standing. But I made the commitment. I’m only working 2 hours a day as a sub, or when they need me, and the job ends in a month and a half.
After that, I’m at square one.
The plan was after college moving to NY for shidduchim once everything settles bc dating where I am is not very easy with traveling.
Hashem had other plans and I am taking it slow with healing so I am trying to take care of myself, and do my hishtadlus.
I have a lot of appointments coming up with no car (so I’m paying for Ubers), and I have high costs for things like hair loss treatment due to the stress, (AGA), and post COVID. My hair is actively falling out and I need this treatment, especially to have the confidence to date.
Once things settle I’m still trying to move for shidduchim because my current location is really limiting my dating, but I’ve been stuck because of debt and my parents honestly cannot afford to help. I need a flight and two months' rent.
I have money I saved up that I can use for when I move, in case I don't have a new job and can pay for the security of the apartment and 1 months rent, plus the flight and the next months rent. It took me years to scrounge up roughly 5k to my name. If c"v anything happened I wouldn't know what to do.
I finally just got my paycheck of $442, that covers one bill, but then I’d have nothing left to help pay off more medical payments or my future appointments and hair falling out treatments. It's so hard. At the same time, I just want to feel like a normal 24 year old. Someone who when her friends want to do something she can. Who can get something nice for herself and not have to stress about money bc of medical debt. I will feel even worse using my own money for leisure since I have so many payments, let alone someone else's but I am in such a deep pit.
My Question:
Even though I have this $5k and just got a small check, am I halachically allowed to accept maaser from my sister for these things? My parents cannot help bc they can't afford to and I feel like I should spend my last dollar before taking help from anyone, but I’m worried that if I do, I’ll be totally destitute and never be able to move for shidduchim. Is taking her help an aveira, or is it okay since I don't have a year of financial stability? Let alone a few months with the way things will be racking up in the next few weeks with new appointments.
Answer:
Hello,
Yes you may accept tzedakah from your sister and from anyone else. The amount of savings that you have does not render you financial stable, as you don't have much savings, and you don't have a clear job for the next year.
Best wishes
