Question:
If you are upset about something that someone did or said to you, is it lashon hara to tell another girl (to vent)?
If someone else is telling you about something that someone did that upset her, how much of it should you believe (to commiserate)?
Answer:
Hello,
Venting is permitted when it is done to release anger, not to harm anyone. It is better to vent to someone who doesn’t know who the person you are talking about is, because then no one is being hurt. Additionally, it should be done only with one person; more than that, it is not merely to get the anger out but as a sort of revenge.
The person hearing the venting is not allowed to believe what is being said, and the truth is that you are only hearing one side of the story. Most of the time, there are nuances and points inserted into the story to bring out the negativity of what happened and how bad the other person is. You can commiserate with the person’s pain, because whether they are correct or not, they are now in pain, and you should help them manage it by empathizing with them. This doesn’t mean you actually believe the story; rather, you are helping a person with their pain.
Best wishes
