Question:
Dear Rabbi,
Thanks for looking at my question.
My parents had a daughter, Leah, who died before I was born.
I have two older brothers who were alive during Leah's life and were old enough to have memories of her. My brothers observe Leahs Yahrtzeit and say Kaddish.
Since I was not born when Leah passed, I have never said Kaddish and do not consider that I have "official" Yahrzeit.
(I usually go to shul with my dad/brothers and visit my mum and give tzedakah but I dont do the "formal" Yahrzeit actions.
I am curious what the halachic perspective on this is? Should I observe a full yahrzeit?
Thanks very much for your time.
Answer:
Hello,
While it's understandable emotionally that you don’t feel a connection to a sibling you never knew, Leah is still your sister, even though she passed away before your birth. From a strict halachic perspective, although observing a sibling’s yahrtzeit is commendable, it is not obligatory in the same way as a parent’s yahrtzeit. It’s preferable to say Kaddish, learn some mishnayos, and light a candle on her yahrtzeit if possible, but these are not required.
Best wishes.
