Question:
Hi Harav it's me again,
Please help me with the following question. I had the honor of driving a big Rosh yeshiva yesterday. It was a very long trip 4+ hours. The ride went pretty smoothly most of the time ( I did occasionally speed a little but nothing to reckless. I don't consider myself a reckless dangerous driver) towards the end of the trip i did a very dumb and stupid merge, the lane was ending and i sped up to try to beat the big truck on my left side (he was in the left lane and the right lane was ending so I sped up to try and get in front of him, the problem that i realized was, that the car in front was slowing down and the big truck was behind/on the side of me... I thought that there might be a crash (chas v'shalom) due to my stupid stupid move. Chasdei Hashem 1000 times over, nothing happened and the truck must have seen me coming from behind and he moved to the other lane. I know how dumb/stupid move it was especially when I was driving such a adam chashove (how can i be so reckless) . I don't know what I was thinking.. Now for my question, from when it happened i'm having these thoughts of 'my zchssim decreased because i did a reckless move' and thoughts of ''not good (physical pain/sickness) should come on to me as a "thank you'' to hashem that nothing happened (i don't even want to think about if chalilah something would've happened to the Rosh Yeshiva).
I'm very very thankful to Hashem that nothing happened ( I already gave $137 to tzdaka as a "Thank you") But Chas V'shalom I don't want any pain chalilah, but these thoughts are "saying" that since nothing happened it's because you accepted illness on yourself in the future (chas v'shalom). I don't know what to do.... I am very very grateful to Hashem ( iI gave tzdaka) But I DO NOT accept any bad on myself... I am almost sure I did not speak anything out but maybe I did.. I'm not sure. What should I do??
Thank you very much and I hope I was clear with my question...
Answer:
Hello,
What you should do is as you already did, you gave tzedakah as a form of thanks to Hashem. You can also say Mizmor l'soda, and most important, make sure to drive more carefully.
Best wishes
