Question:
If someone doesn't know that you spoke/believed lashon hara about them, judged them unfavorably, etc. should you apologize to them or not?
Answer:
Hello,
It depends on what happened. We are only obligated to ask for forgiveness from the other person if they were negatively affected by what we did. For example, if you spoke lashon hora but the person you spoke to didn't believe it and the other person's reputation wasn't negatively affected, or if you didn't judge the other person favorably but no one acted differently toward them as a result, you wouldn't have to ask them mechila. Otherwise, you would.
When asking mechila because you spoke lashon hora, it is better not to say what you did, because that will arouse feelings of contempt in the other person. Therefore, it will have to suffice with a general request for mechila.
Gmar chasima tova
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