Dear Esteemed Shadchan, As an inexperienced shadchan, I was wondering what the correct procedure regarding the following is. Once a shidduch becomes more serious (date five and beyond), what approach should be taken? A. Should the call the shadchan as soon as possible to say where he is holding? B. Should the boy […]
Author Archives: merav
Dating with Direction
My son has gone out with a girl ten times. The last four or so dates have seemed somewhat superfluous to me, as my son and the girl had a good rapport and everything had been moving smoothly, but the girl, we were told by the shadchan, needed more time. That was fine, as we […]
Doing Chessed With Chessed
I was recently approached by two shadchanim at a friend’s vort. I really appreciate their efforts to help people find their zivug, but one thing that disturbed me was their approach in doing so. At the vort, I was situated in middle of a crowd of people and they came over to me and, without […]
Navigating the Shidduch Maze
T. Rubinstein One of the issues that is presently one of our biggest dating problems which shaddchanim are dealing with on a daily basis is that there are too many of our young adults who are floundering while dating because they are not connecting on an emotional level. It is obvious that one cannot build […]
A Heavy Heart
I am a young divorcee. I am trying to pick up the pieces of my life and move on, but my former wife’s parents have made it difficult for me to do so. Naturally, when people look into me, they ask, “What happened the first time?” Instead of stating that we split amicably (which is […]
Tactics vs. Tactful
My daughter is in shidduchim and goes out on a regular basis. My husband has taken to “farhering” the boys who come to our home to take our daughter out. He asks them for a vort or questions in learning. I have a hunch that boys are getting scared off by his farher tactic, while […]
Rather Be Safe Than Sorry
Strangely, some people in our communities, do not immunize their children against certain serious diseases, believing, unwisely and irresponsibly, that they are somehow “protecting” their children. (Perverted logic if I’ve ever heard it.) Obviously, this has implications for playgroups, schools and the general frum public. However, with a child in shidduchim, this issue concerns me […]
What Does The RBSO REALLY Want From Us?
T. Rubinstein Most of us today who are looking for a Yeshua in any area from shidduchim, parnassa, difficult children, health issues, etc……., turn to the many available segulos, tzedakas, kivrei tzaddikim, etc……..Kupat Haer, R’Meilich M’Lizensk, Amuka, brochos from Rebbes and Gedolim, and the likes. Much time and money is spent on all of the […]