Question:

Hello,
Thank you for your help.
My question deals with cursing a parent.
As a bal teshuva, I am analyzing past mistakes in detail to try to make it right.
In the past, I uttered curse words under my breath towards a parent (they did not hear them). G-d’s name was not used at all.
My questions are:
1. After doing teshuva to G-d (stating that I cursed at a parent, regretting saying the curse words to the parent, resolving not to say curse words towards the parent, asking forgiveness from G-d…) as well as doing teshuva to the parent (apologizing because now that I am on this journey, I realized I made a mistake, and I said if I ever cursed you, I regret it, please forgive me. And they said, yes, they forgive me…)
Is this sufficient teshuva to “wipe the slate clean” or is there more teshuva needed, and if so, what is it?
2. I learned that the punishment for cursing a parent is death (stoning?). My question is, does saying curse words in anger towards a parent (that I genuinely love…and generally have a great relationship with) equate with the Torah’s explanation of cursing a parent? To qualify for death/stoning, would someone have to use G-d’s name in the cursing (which I did not do). Does my teshuva erase that I said curse words towards my parent? I sincerely regret it…
Thank you for your help. I really appreciate it.

Answer:

From what you are writing it sounds like you did what you were supposed to. It isn’t easy to do what you did, and you did it correctly! There are all sorts of levels to teshuva, and what you did is great, of course you won’t repeat it, and you will get great reward for overcoming the difficulties and succeeding!

You are correct. Cursing a parent is only punishable by death when it is done with the name of H-shem, which is not he case here, however regardless you did correct teshuva for it, and there is no need for you to be concerned.

Keep up the good work, you’re doing great!

Tags: cursing kibbud av v'em

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