Question:
Recently I suffered the devastating loss of my mother a”h who passed away under very tragic circumstances.
My grief is inconsolable because I was estranged from her for so many years, and I only discovered shortly before she passed away, and even more afterwards, how this estrangement caused her catastrophic damage emotionally, physically, and financially.
What are the best things that I can do now to benefit the neshoma of my poor unfortunate mother who suffered so much because of me during her long sad life full of despair and disappointment?
Answer:
Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveilei t’Zion v’Yerushalayim
This is very painful, especially do to the fact that you feel so much guilt due to the pain that you caused her.
I would assume that you made sure to ask her mechila. There are many things that you can do for your departed mother that will help her neshoma tremendously. First of all, davening for the amud, and saying kaddish. Learning mishnayos, and saying the tefilla afterwards, preferably each and every day. Giving tzedakah, as an illuy neshoma, and also by davening to Hashem for her neshoma . Also, in general it is important for you to know that all torah learning that you do, and any mitzva that you do raises the level of your mother’s neshoma, and she gets some sechar for it. The reason being because she, in part is the cause that this mitzva was done, because she bore and raised you. Therefore, be mischazek, in any way that you can, and that will also be an illuy nishama for her.
IY”H by doing these things you mother will be veery happy with you, as you are now giving her things that are worth much more than what you can give her in the physical, fleeting and temporary world.
Best wishes
