Question:
I know that it is really a subject that people like to shun away from because of it’s maybe not so soothing truths. However I would like to know more about this. My question is really divided in a few parts, hence let me get started:
I am a Ger Tzedek for more then half of my life. I was born in a mostly secular family. My parents though always encouraged my sisters and me to look for our own ways when it came to religion and most values. Of necessity xmas was only celebrated because everybody else did it and for the rest there were very little tradtions and customs in our family.
I always craved religious symbolism and customs and looked from an early age (8-9 years old) with jealousy to people with richer spiritual and ceremonial life. I also started asking questioning the meaning of life from about that age. My parents were not very much the place for answer, rather they would say that they would not be able to explain the questions of life because they felt they did not have the answers themselves.
Though poor in that respect, rich in the area of trying to help other people and being tolerant and understanding of people who were different then the normal people around.
I never felt, even after becoming Jewish that my parents (even though most certainly goyim) were bad people. Not at all. I actually always admired them for some of the things they did (like adopting an orphaned girl from age 8). This did not come from religious obligation or thinking but rather being human and trying to help other people.
So my parents do not seem very bad, but just grew up in a country and an environment were it was not so usual to think about where we come from and where are we going….
My father of 72 had pancreatic cancer and has according to the most favourable prognonsis about half a year to live. Can I expect that his soul will be annihilated? That he will have nothing, and total destruction is waiting for those who were never exposed to the truth in a way that should get them thinking?
You’d be able to say: “Wait a sec, you are his son… you are a frum Jew… Why did that not do something to them?” It is true that I have tried talking to my parents about this in the past, but they just can not fathom that the truth of Hakodesh Boruch Hu, Moshe Rabbeinu ע”ה, the Torah and klal Yisroel would have any bearing on them.
Second question is: I would probably make him more liable by trying to speak to him more, so would it maybe be better not to discuss religion at all?
Thirdly, my father has made it clear that he rather be cremated. Is that a problem for non-Jews? What about if they are actually Bnei Noach?
Thank you for your precious time.
Answer:
Hello,
- Your father definitely has a certain degree of merit, because it was his upbringing and some of the values that he gave you, that had some sort of influence on your converting. The degree, of this merit I don’t know, as I am not versed in this area. Regarding trying to convince him to convert, it is better that you not try it at this point, because he most probably will not listen, and he isn’t obligated to convert. He can remain a righteous gentile, if he keeps the seven noahide commandments, and he will get a reward in the afterlife for it. (It will not be the same level as a Jew, but he will be rewarded for it.)
- While being buried in the ground does provide one’s soul with a certain element of cleansing, it is not one of the commandments that gentiles or Bnei Noach are obligated to follow, therefore if you father wants to do this, he has not violated any rule or law.
Best wishes
