Question:
The Rama writes that the minhag is that nowadays Ashkenazim women do not lean at the Seder. Does that mean it is forbidden for an Ashkenaz women to lean? Is she permitted to lean if she wants to? Are there any poskim that permit an Ashkenaz lady to lean?
Thank You
Answer:
What the Rema means, is that they are not careful to specifically lean, and that they don’t have to lean, however if they want to they may. The wife of the Chasam Sofer, (the daughter of R’ Akiva Eiger,) used to lean, and the Chasam Sofer was careful she should have a place to lean.
Sources:
Kaf Hachayim O:CH 472- 28, Michtav Sofer Drashos on the Haggadah of Pesach D:H Kadosh, Pischei Teshuvos 472-2.
But if there are male guests by the table, then it is not modest?
I don’t see why leaning over a little bit is not modest. This is the way that premenent women used to eat in olden times, and the gemorah makes no mention of any tznius problem.
It could be attracting attention by doing something strange, since the general minhag nowadays (as brought in Rama) is that women don’t lean. We should be wary of doing something that appears strange to other people.
She is doing what everyone else is doing at that time.
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