Question:
Should a wife serve her husband or her guests first at a home meal? What if they are guests at someone else’s house and she is helping serve who should she serve first?
Answer:
A wife should always serve her husband first when they are at home. Even when your father is at your house, you should technically serve your husband first, because your obligation is to your husband before your parents. It is however correct and practically smart, for your husband to agree that you should serve your parents before him when they are there, but if he is particular about it then you should serve him first.
When you are in someone else’s home, the host is the one who should be served first, even when your husband is there. This is because it is derech eretz (and manners) that the host should be served first, since a guest is supposed to wait for the host to start eating first. Since your husband also has this obligation therefore the host should be served first, and then after that your husband, father etc.
Sources:
Shach Y:D 240-19, Morah Horim V’kibudam 7-8, Pesach Haohel 1-11 in the name of Yalkut Derech Eretz 3-33
