When is a single girl who lives at home and doesn’t light candles mekabel shabbos and not allowed to eat/drink anymore? Is it when her mother lights, father is mekabel shabbos? Or may she eat/drink and do melacha till the shekiya as long as she didn’t say kabolos shabbos yet
- This that woman is mekabel Shabbos when she lights her candles is because she said the bracha “l’hadlik ner shel Shabbos” therefore it is usually considered that she was mekabel Shabbos. (If needed there are times when she can stipulate that she is still not mekabel Shabbos, however the minhag of women is that they are mekabel Shabbos when lighting.) This only applies to the women who actually lit the candles and said the bracha, but not for other women, even if she is including them in her bracha. Therefore, she may still eat and drink. The same way it doesn’t obligate the men to stop doing melacha.
- When the father is mekabel Shabbos in shul with the tzibbur, since at that point most people were mekabel Shabbos already, then it is binding for everyone, and she is mekabel Shabbos then. (If however the shul davened early as a one-time occurrence then she is not obligated by it.)
As a side point everyone is obligated to be mekbel Shabbos at least a few minutes before shkiya, and preferably 18 minutes before shkiya (sunset) because of the mitzva to add to the Shabbos (called Tosefes Shabbos). Therefore, we not do melacha etc. until shkiya.
- Ohr Zarua (Hilchos Erev Shabbos) 11, Rema O:CH 263-5, 10, M:B 263-26, Aruch Hashulchan 263-15.
- O:CH 263-12, Igros Moshe O:CH 3-38. Shulchan Aruch 251-2, M:B 261-23.