I am a Jew based on Halacha but I grew up Xtian. One of the teaching of xtianity is that no matter how you should always be kind and love people , even when they trick you , use you or fraud you. I left that religion for good and I am now finding my way back to Judaism. But still I feel that when people try to use me or trick me is something HaShem wants for me or that if I do not submit to them I will not honour him. What should I do when people try to scam or use me and is there a specific passage in the Torah that supports that ?
Thank you for your question.
Judaism does not condone the idea of turning the other cheek. According to Judaism, in normal circumstances, if someone is trying to hurt you and you turn the other cheek for him to hit it you are a fool! Jewish literature is full of such ideas. The Talmud writes (Sanhedrin 72a), “one who comes to kill you, precede and kill him first”. We also find the idea in Psalms 18-27″ that with a crooked person you have to act crooked”. Meaning that if a person tries to trick you and hurt you, you can act with cunning to set he matter so that things work out straight. No don’t make yourself a victim. This is precisely what Jacob did when Lavan his father in law tried to trick him numerous times. Hashem doesn’t want us to victimize ourselves, but to defend ourselves (when possible). Additionally, if someone steals from us we take him to Bais Din, (Jewish court), and we don’t just say, “here you stole from me, here’s some more”….
There is another idea that also applies, which is in retrospect that someone did hurt us, there is an idea of forgiving a person that wronged us. This however only applies of the person has remorse for what was done, and will not do it again in the future.
It is important to mention, that what is written here is only a general idea, and each situation has to be evaluated on its own.