May one find out what gender baby they are having?
Technically it is permitted to find out the gender of the baby, and we can’t that it is not allowed, however there are a number of reasons why it is preferred not to find out the gender of the baby.
- One reason is because there are opinions that it is possible to daven that the baby be a boy until the birth, (this is not like the Gemorah Brachos 60a) and if they will find out the gender it will be too late to do that. (Aside from this there are those who question if the father knew that he having a boy, if he can still say “ Hatov v’hameitiv” since he already knows he gender).
- The Midrash (on Koheles 11-5) says that “seven things are hidden from a person”, and one of them is what a pregnant woman is carrying. If we see this is one of the things that heaven wants hidden, we shouldn’t try to get around it.
- “Ain habracha mitzuyah elo b’davar h’samu min ha’ayin”, (blessing only exists in what is hidden from the eye). This is for two reasons, firstly, that H-shem will give bracha of make a ness faster when it is hidden instead of making a change to nature in the open. Secondly, in order to avoid ayin hora. The Tosefos Rid Babba Kama says that there is an idea of ayin hora from the person to himself. Therefore it is preferred that even the person himself not know the extent of his bracha. We see this from the gemorah therefore it is preferred, even for the parents not to know what isn’t necessary.
- See Zohar Tazriah- 10, Midrash Tanchuma Vayetzei-8, Yirushalmi Brachos 9-3, Shevet Hakehosi 1- 317(8).
- Heard from R’ Zaidel Epstein zt”l, Kovetz Bais Hillel 13 pg. 93 from R’ Y. Zilberstein and R’ Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a.
- Taanis 8b, Sfas Emes ibid, Tosefos Rid Babba Kama 83a, Piskei Teshuvos 230-5, R’ Yisroel Belski and R Tuvia Goldstein zt”l, and YBCHL”CH R’ S. Felder shlit”a quoted in Halachically speaking 4-22.