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Inviting During Aveilus

What’s the source that explains what a Seudas Mereyim is, for a mourner during his/her 12 months period after losing a parent? what is the number of people limitation on Shabbos regarding inviting or being invited for a meal?
thanks and regards


There is no set number of people for a seudas mereyim, and it depends on the nature of the relationship between the aveil and the person involved. If they are close friends, and the nature of the relationship is that they invite one another to their homes (one day one goes to his friend, and the next the friend comes to his), then it is a relationship of mereyim (Shach 391; Divrei Sofrim 391:11).

However, aside from the issue of a gathering of mereyim, there is a general problem of inviting and being invited during the twelve months (Taz, 389), and if invitations are made they should be done through spouses.

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  1. A not married girl who doesnt live with family, who mother passed away, how does the halacha of being invited or inviting over apply?

    what does “seduat mereyim” mean? that you can’t go over to close friends for a year?

    1. Se’udas Mereyim refers to “going out with friends.”
      For a single girl, being invited will often mean simply eating a family meal (whether with her own family or with another family), and under the circumstances one can be lenient.

  2. In the same way can I as a single girl invite other single friends over for shabbos?

    1. The same principles will apply. However, if you have a concrete need for company (as a single girl, this can be understandable), you can be lenient in this matter.
      Best wishes.

  3. Concerning an Avel being invited for a shabbos meal, is theer a problem of seudas mereyim and/or a maximum number of people that can be present at that meal, or is a refusal to partecipate a casue of aveilus befarhesia, hence no limitations apply?

    1. It is permitted to refuse the invitation; however, for a forum of guests at another’s family, and not a gathering of friends, many are lenient where there is some need.

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