I was recently learning in Kiddushin regarding the father’s obligation to spend money to make his daughter more attractive to potential suitors for marraige.
In many circles it is customary for the parents to obligate themselves to support the new couple for a certain amount of years (which can be very expensive, especially with multiple children to marry off).
I’m guessing that this is part of the dowry requirement of the girl’s father.
Aside from the obvious practical considerations that a parent might have to do more than what is halachically required) what is the Halachic requirement? Is there a minimum $ amount for someone who would not be considered an Ani (poor person) to spend?
Answer:
There is no formal obligation (recorded by the Shulchan Aruch and poskim) of providing specific amount for the sake of one’s daughter’s marriage. However, as you note, it is part of a father’s obligation to provide her with the required amount that will enable her to get married, and to make her attractive to potential suitors.
Today, the criteria for suitors isn’t quite the same as it used to be, and aside from dowry, there are plenty of other factors that go into a decision. Thus, although a person should make a hishtadlus to arrange for a respectable sum of money, if he is poor, and lacks the means, he should certainly not bring himself to ruin and risk his home and his health for marrying off his daughter.
Hashem has many ways, and there are plenty of not-so-wealthy families whose daughters find wonderful husbands, in spite of the lack of available funding.
Best wishes and much success.
