1)when asking mechila from a deceased person not by the grave but with a minyan,what if i am unsure if i need forgiveness?should i still say chatasi lashemetc., or should i just ask mechila?2)if i walked with tzitzis out in a bais hakevoros,do i need mechila?3)and since i dont know where exactly i walked,can i just ask mechila from whoever i wronged?
Answer:
1. You can say the regular nusach.
2. No, there is no need for mechila. The concept of lo'eg lerash is not "personal," but is rather a general concept of disrespect for the deceased. There is no need for personal mechila.
Best wishes.
thank you.in general,can i ask mechilah from all deceased peoeple that i may have wronged,or is it meacev to say the name?
If you know who you are referring to, yet don't recall the name, you can ask mechilah without the name. The custom for asking mechila is to go to the grave, where the name is written of course.
What is the source of asking a mais for machila?
If the person is nifter, why are we talking to him?
1. The source to asking a departed person mechila is, in order that the soul of the departed person should forgive the sin that was done to him. The Talmud Yuma 87a, and Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 606-2 discuss this.
2. Your question is very important, and it touches on one of the fundamentals of Judaism. Judaism believes that when a person dies, it is only his physical body that dies, not his personality, and not his inner soul. In fact, we actually live our lives, investing and preparing for the reward that our souls will receive after it is separated from our physical body.
(To help us understand and a feel that we have a soul, when someone insults us, what feels that pain? Our soul. Not our hand, face, or heart. When we feel happy, it is our soul that feels it not our physical body. This soul does not cease to exist after it separates from the physical body, to the contrary, it no longer has the physical body, diminishing its capabilities to feel.)
After the soul has separated from the physical body, it is still possible to talk to it. Not that it can then physically answer us the way it could when it was inside a body, however it can hear, see, and we can communicate with it, in the sense that we can ask it forgiveness, for the pain that we caused it when it was in its physical body.
Best wishes
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