Question:
I have severe pain in my knees and it is very painful to walk to shul on Shabbos — on top of which I have ADHD, and the distraction makes it nearly impossible to really concentrate on what I am saying.
Questions are :
- Is it appropriate to not go to Shul under these circumstances? Even though I will miss Tefilah B’Tzibur, can I daven at home?
- The pain in my knees makes it painful to stand, which interrupts my ability to concentrate. Is it better to sit or is it better to stand leaning on a walker or a cane, even though it hurts. Thank you for your consideration.
Answer:
This sounds challenging, and I feel for you. Walking with knee pain can be very painful, (I have experience with this).
It is true, that getting to shul is a challenge for you, and then the davening itself is another challenge, but please allow me to explain something to you and you will gain a lot from this. It is true that it is tough, but keep on going to shul, even though it is painful. Even though even when you get there you can’t concentrate on the davening that much.
The Mishna (Avos D’rabi Noson 3-6 regarding doing mitzvos when a person is older) says that it is more beneficial for a person to do a mitzva even once when he is in pain, then 100 times when he isn’t in pain. Meaning, that the reward that you get for each step that you take to go to shul is worth more than 100 times more than the person that goes to shul when it is easy. Now listen to this next “mind blowing” point. The Achronim (R’ Chaim Velozoner as heard from Horav Aryeh Finkel zt”l) add to this, that the Gemora (Eruchin 16b) says, “What is considered pain? If a person put his hand in his pocket to get out three coins and he only got out two, and now he has to stick his hand back into his pocket again, (what a pity – ed.) that is already called pain”. Now if we put the two gemoras together we have an unbelievable thing. Let’s say that each time a person sticks his hand into his pocket etc. is considered 1 unit of pain. If a person does a mitzva without any pain at all, he will merit olam haba for eternity, but if he does it with one unit of pain it is as if he did 100 such mitzvos.
Says R’ Chaim Velozoner, what happens if the person does the mitzva with two units of pain, how much is it more than the person who did the mitzva with out any pain at all? He says it is 100 times 100 = 10,000 times!! This is since the person who has two units of pain gets 100 times the reward than the person who only had one unit of pain, because compared to that it wasn’t pain at all. If we will calculate this a little more, three units = 1 million times! Therefore, a person that goes to shul when he endures three units of pain has earned and will be rewarded at least 1 million times the other person! Now in your situation, that each step is painful, I can’t even evaluate how many units of pain are involves here, in fact I don’t even have a calculator that has enough numbers on it, for the benefit that you will get for the mesiras nefesh each time you go to shul!
After that, you will have another major opportunity – the work involved to concentrate. Which you will be duly rewarded for your trouble. Even if you don’t manage to concentrate for more than part of the Shemona Esrei, do what you can, and the more the better, but after the few minutes of hard work, you’re a millionaire in Olam Haba!
(As a side point this might lead us to an interesting understanding to the term “Arichas Yomim” “long days”. That when a person is old, and mitzvos are hard for him to do, he is accomplishing a lot more with each mitzva and each day than a young person does. For the older person it is as of he did millions of mitzvos, whereas he young person only managed a few hundred mitzvos. Therefore, his days are “long”- meaning that they are full of accomplishment and heavenly reward).
Therefore, my suggestion is that if at all possible, make the effort, and it will serve you well.
Regarding davening Shemna Esrei, if it is at all possible, make the effort to stand and concentrate, if you can’t help it but to lean slightly, it is permitted. However. if you will not be able to concentrate then you can sit.
Hashem should send you a refuah shleima, and the emotional strength to keep on going, and not let the yetzer hora or pain get in your way.
