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Lashon hara and pressure


Hi I work in a office for Nursing homes and another workmate (*1) pointed out that another workmate(*2) was asking people in the facility to get invoice which you are not supposed to do. I told my workmate(*2) that you are not supposed to do that, she agreed with that and said she is not going to do it in the future. She (workmate(*2)) wanted me to tell her who was the one who told me that she was doing this thing, she said she is curious (aka: wants to know who workmate (*1) is) She will not talk to me again unless I tell her, Am I allowed to tell her?



This is a nisayon, because you may not tell who it is, as that would be real rechilus, (in fact, it is a classical case of rechilus) and also it will cause a fight between the two. The reason she wants you to tell her who the person who said it is not mere for curiosity’s sake, because that is not enough of a reason not to talk to you. Rather, if she finds out who it is, she will then vent all her anger on that person. Although she is threatening not to talk to you about this, keep strong, because we may not violate a mitzva min haTorah just because someone threatens us not to talk to us. What you can do is to be extra nice to her in other ways, and this will help to calm her down, and hopefully with time she will realize that it isn’t worth the fight.

Best wishes and have a kesiva vchasima tova.


Chofetz Chaim Hilchos Rechilus chap. 1-2,5,6.

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