Question:
Given that masturbation is an aveira, should one not study Torah or daven for a while after engaging in it? Besides teshuva and washing off the zera, must one do anything else?
Answer:
Hello,
It is good that you have the courage to be open and ask important questions, even about an uncomfortable such as this.
After washing or wiping the zera off, the person is allowed to daven and learn. (There is a preference to going to the mikva if that is possible.) There is no need to wait at all, afterwards, in fact although it is indeed a big Aveiro, however Hashem doesn’t have a waiting period, for us to return to Him and get close again. In fact, davening and learning is a tikkun (a way to rectify) the Aveiro.
As a side point, one of the ways to rectify this Aveiro is by doing mitzvos, and exerting oneself when doing it to the degree that the person sweats. This is especially true regarding Torah learning. The Arizal says I once saw somewhere that torah learning, especially if the person gets really involved in it, and it causes him to sweat, that this sweat is a way to rectify the Aveiro. Additionally, Torah is considered a spiritual fire, and this fire burns out the impurities caused by this Aveiro.
Believe it or not, the tricky part of falling into this Aveiro, is the guilty feelings that he person has afterwards. Often the person will feel that after doing such a large Aveiro, that Hashem doesn’t love him anymore, he is dirty, tameh, and castigated by Hashem. While it is true that it is indeed a big Aveiro, however we must know that the person is still loved by Hashem.
The Chofetz Chaim (see sources) says that the Yetzer Hora puts thoughts in a person’s mind, “How can I be successful in being a righteous person, and getting close to Hashem, if I already did such big aveiros. Since I already did such big aveiros, Hashem is not going to help me anymore” This is not true. He says, “Hashem isn’t particular to help us out only if we are a tzaddik. Rather Hashem says, I will help you out as long as you aren’t rebelling purposefully. As long as you aren’t purposefully rebelling, Hashem will help you out”. Hashem knows that we are people, and often we stumble, and do stupid things, this however does not mean that Hashem doesn’t still love us, want us, and is willing to help us, to the degree that we want His help.
Another point. If you feel that you need guidance, in how to curb yourself of this, let us know.
Best wishes
Sources:
חפץ חיים – שמירת הלשון חלק ב פרק יט “הקדוש ברוך הוא אינו מדקדק על האדם לומר אושיעך רק באופן שתהיה צדיק, רק אומר לו לא אושיעך אם תהיה מורד ח”ו, ולזה סיימו יהושע וכלב ואמרו אך בה’ אל תמרודו. וכל זמן שאין אדם מורד בהקב”ה לעקור מצוותיו בכוונה, יוכל לקוות לכל טוב.
משנה ברורה סימן תס ס”ק ז “ויטריח עצמו במצת מצוה עד שיתחמם ויזיע וזה תיקון גדול לעון החמור [האר”י ז”ל]:” וע’ שערי תשובה סימן רנ ס”ק [ב] “עיין באה”ט בשם כוונות האר”י ז”ל הזיעה שאדם מזיע בצרכי שבת הם סגולה למחיקת העונות כמו הדמעות ולכן צריך לטרוח הרבה בשביל כבוד שבת ע”ש וכה”ג כתבו לענין עשיית המצות בע”פ”.
רמב”ם הלכות איסורי ביאה פרק כא הלכה יט “וכן אסור לאדם שיקשה עצמו לדעת או יביא עצמו לידי הרהור, אלא אם יבא לו הרהור יסיע לבו מדברי הבאי (והשחתה) לדברי תורה”.
