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teshuva

Question:

A few years ago someone insulted me very badly, and I really felt broken. I didn’t forgive him, and I even prayed that Hashem should show him how wrong he was. 4 days later, he was in a fire and just about survived. It took him many months to recover, and even today isn’t quite his former self. As soon as I heard about the fire I forgave him and prayed for his recovery, and when he regained conciousness he asked me to forgive him.
My question is, should I be worried about what the gemara says shabbos 149b that whoever his fellowis punished because of him, they don’t bring in to the Mechitza of Hashem, and is there anything I could do about it.
Many thanks

 

Answer:

Hello,

First, we don’t know why shomayim does things, and we cannot know that it was because you davened. Regardless, Hashem is very kind to us and it is possible to do teshuva for almost any aveiro. The reason why a person one who davens that his friend should be punished is not allowed into the mechitzah of Hashem is because the person should have forgiven the other person. (See sefer Chefetz Hashem, brought in footnotes of Mesivta gemora ftnt. 26.) According to this, it is possible to do teshuva by being careful from now on to be mochel people that will hurt you, and to say the tefillah “Ribbono shel olam hareini mochel” when saying kriyas shem al hamitta.

Best wishes

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