We have several adult children. One is married with four kids, he is learning and his wife works. He lives in our basement apartment and does not pay rent or utilities.
Another child is married with six kids, both parents work, but can barely make ends meet.
We are coming into some money and would like to give our maaser money to those two our. What is the threshold required to allow our kids to accept maaser money?
Is it preferable to give them, rather than tzedeka organizations?
From what you are describing, both children are eligible to receive maaser money, as it is hard to imagine that someone learning with four children has a large amount of savings that they can support themselves with it. The other child, as you described, is having a hard time making ends meet, so he can also receive tzedakah. Therefore it would be a mitzva for you to help them both, especially the son that is learning. A person’s first choice for giving their maaser money are his relatives, especially if it is also supporting torah learning, before giving to other organizations. You shouldn’t give them all of your maaser money, and some of it should be saved for other causes.
One other point, when you give it to them, it should be in a discreet fashion, so they won’t be embarrassed, and you surely don’t have to tell then that you are taking it from your maaser money.