I am in the very early stages of study in pursuit of conversion to Judaism; I haven’t taken the step of contacting a Rabbi yet, though. One initial concern is if I would be allowed to convert at all, given that I am already married; my wife is Christian and although she supports me in this decision to convert, she has no inclination to convert herself. I understand the potential ‘conflict of interest’ but throughout our marriage she has always supported my choices regarding religion and has gone to great lengths to not put obstacles in my way. As far as Jewish law is concerned, and in light of her positive attitude, is this going to be an insurmountable obstacle to conversion? Or is this a matter for an individual Rabbi to consider before accepting me into an ‘official’ study program? It goes without saying that I would be pursuing an Orthodox conversion as I am aware of the ‘legal’ problems in recognizing other conversions as valid. I just don’t want to be studying- expecting to be allowed to convert- and at the last minute being shut out on a technicality! Thank you, Rabbi, for your time and consideration.
Answer:
Conversion is a length process, and you are certainly right to make full investigations before embarking on it.
Concerning your particular question, it is true that Judaism does not recognize a marriage between a Jew and a non-Jew, and therefore your being married to a Christian will be an obstacle.
Without meaning to put you off the idea of conversion, it is important to realize that Judaism does not believe that all non-Jews must or should convert to Judaism, and our belief is that one can achieve closeness to God and fulfill an important human purpose outside the religion.
It is true that Jews have a particular calling, and that being a part of the Jewish people is a privilege – but only a small number of non-Jews, who somehow “hear the calling” from without, enter the Jewish people by means of conversion.
Do as much research as you wish, by all means come back to us with other questions, and make your decisions together with your wife.
I commend you on seeking your personal path of God, wherever it may lie, and wish you much success for the future. Your wife’s acceptance and encouragement is also very impressive, and you are fortunate to have such a partner in life.
