In many traditional but secular Jewish communities, although shabbas and kashrus are not kept, marrying a Jew is of utmost importance. Many Jewish singles I know are dating non Jews. Many of these non Jews are in the conversion process currently via an orthodox Beis Din so they can marry their secular Jewish fiancé. However, knowing these couples and having seen many go through this same process, it is clear that there is no sincere intention to keep Halacha after the conversion takes place.
1. Are these conversions valid if there is no sincere intention to keep Halacha? I.e. immediately after the conversion they don’t keep shabbas or kosher.
2. Does it matter if they keep some Halacha but have no intention to keep another Halacha? Eg keep kosher but not shabbas.
3. I have a relative in this situation who is marrying a non Jew but I know factually that they have no intention to keep Halacha after the conversion takes place. Can I attend the wedding?
- While one can not rule definitively without knowing the specific situation, in general, if there is no sincere intention to be and live like a Jew then the conversion would not be valid
- The acceptance essentially has to be that the person will keep all of the mitzvos etc.
- Although what they are doing is definitely incorrect, you may go to the wedding if you need to. The reason is that usually we may not go to a wedding of intermarriage because it is a chillul H-shem to show that we are condoning the aveiro that is being done. However in this case the people don’t know that they are doing anything wrong, they think that they are doing it in a permitted fashion, therefore this is not such an issue. However if you don’t have to go to the wedding it is better to stick away. Aside from this, even if you do go, you can’t eat anything there and you cannot be there for the dancing.
Horav S. Forst and Horav Y. Berkowitz shlit”a