Is my husband allowed to hold a strainer over the sink for me while I pour boiling hot rice or noodles into it while I am in Nidda? it’s possible but kind of hard to do it myself holding the strainer in one hand and pouring the hot food with the other.
Halachically it is permitted for him to pour the rice while you hold the strainer if it is hard for you to manage otherwise. However, if it isn’t hard, it is better to be careful about this because it is easy for him to touch you when the two of you are in such close proximity.
This case would be similar to what the Taz (Y:D 195-8) says, that the problem with her pouring water on his hands is because of chiba, but not because it is like she is handing him something. In this case, he is holding the pot which is holding the rice, and that is being poured on to the item that she is holding – the strainer. A similar case would be for the husband to extinguish the havdalah candle with wine while she is holding it over a plate. It is pouring and touching something that she is merely holding. See Badei Hashulchan 195-30, Shefa Tahara (Piskei Halachos) 195-21, Gam Ani Odecha- Piskei Horaah- 39 in the name of Horav A. Nebenzhal and Horav E. Auerbach shlit”a. Other poskim however disagree.